Sunday Church and Drinking Games.

 

(photo courtesy of Photo Bucket)

I should have titled this blog, "How Probably Not to Think when You're Sitting in Church."

This past, post Easter Sunday, I sat in front, well, actually to the side, in the sign language section because we are always running late.
That's where there are usually seats still available for the tardy and hard of hearing.
I probably qualify.
And I hear just fine.
I don't always listen.

But, because Max Lucado is awesome and one of the most respected God guys of our time, (yes, that was a little sucking up over the Mr. Rogers for Jesus comment) I purposely and expectantly listened as he began to talk about John 15.
It's the "I am the vine, you are the branches," bit.
I'm familiar with the allegory Jesus told. I just never noticed the repetitiveness of it.

Max talked about how many times the word "abide" appeared in those verses.
10.
It appears 10 times. At least in the version we were looking at.
And in my head, which isn't always right, the first thought that brought a big, inappropriate smile to my face was,"Oh! It's like a Bob Newhart drinking game kind of story."

Not his intention for sure, but it's where my brain went.
In trying to apply the word to my life, my mind sometimes goes the round about way.
Does anyone else remember playing that game?
Okay, does anyone who wasn't in a bible study on Tuesday nights in a college dorm remember that game?

It was popular back then to get a bunch of us together with a few 6 packs and hang out to watch The Bob Newhart Show.
The rule was that you had to take a drink every time they said, "Hi Bob."
It was a lot.
More than 10.
This is only vaguely relevant to the verse...but repetition can be good.

Personally, sometimes my eyes glaze over and I drift a bit when I read this, but it's super fruitful in how to live this jam-packed life we are all trying to live.
Jam packed. Get it? :)

"1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 ABIDE in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it ABIDE in the vine, neither can you, unless you ABIDE in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever ABIDES in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not ABIDE in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you ABIDE in me, and my words ABIDE in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. ABIDE in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will ABIDE in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and ABIDE in his love." 

The question was asked, "Are you abiding?"

I remembered immediately my secret smoking. After a good few months of not.
And then I remembered the snarky comments I made in last week's blog about the guy at the concert who acted rudely and should have given me a seat when he saw I was about to pass out but.....
Ugh. Sorry.
In fact, I've been wondering all week why I ran my mouth like I did and why I was so particularly annoyed by that guy and his beautiful wife.
And then it came to me. The voice from the Vine Whisperer.
Jealousy.
"I'm not jealous."
"Yes, you are."
Gulp. Don't cry, don't cry.
A deep look at my stinky fruit, revealed a stench.
I was watching as two people held hands and worshipped together.
And I miss that.
I want that.
Why do we get angry? Because we don't get what we want. It's a proverb. I'm not sure where, but it is.

So, sitting in church last Sunday, I thought to myself, "I'm backsliding a bit, yes. But am I abiding?"
What a really great question!
Because you see, I always seem to subsitute the word BEHAVE for ABIDE.
And I don't do that as often as I try.
That's when I need to let go and let God be God and ask him to peel back the thick layers of my own crap and help me see that I am not completely rotten to the core.

This week, one challenging situation after another, I've found myself chanting, "abide...abide...just abide."
Less trying and more abiding is the key.
It gives me a whole lot more peace when I try not to behave, but abide.

As we scurry about our lives, we run around all day running our businesses and trying to be fruitful.
I think most days I bear good fruit or maybe in addition to being rude, I'm also still dilusional.
Some days, I'm aware that my fruit stinks to high heaven!!

I found comfort in the closing last Sunday when I heard something like this, "At the end of the day, the world view of success might be, "Did you close the deal? Did you meet your quota? Did you offer kind and gentle words to your children? Were you sweet and honoring to your husband? All of those might be good things...but most importantly, did you abide?"

Hi Bob!
Skip the beer.
Give me that thirst quenching living water any day baby!
Abide. Drink. And repeat.
Abide. Drink. And repeat.