Long Island Iced Teas and Shut Up Pleas!

Sometimes I enjoy basking in my extreme holiness.

I was on a two day vacay at Port Aransas, courtesy of my mother, and although I couldn't/didn't bring my bible, and my phone wouldn't work for YouVersion, I still managed to eek a few moments with God via quiet time and Sarah Young's Jesus Calling.

It mentioned resting and snuggling.
Did I mention I love resting and snuggling?

It talked about how important it is that we don't compare ourselves with others and urged us not to disguise our weaknesses, for it is in them, that God is able to work.

Holy, holy am I.

Did I mention I was on vacation?

So, as I was sunning myself by the pool, in my Most Highly modest swimsuit, I struck up a conversation with a woman nearby, even though she was wearing a super skinny bikini.

Over the top of my Nicholas Sparks, so romantic, but also holy book, "True Believer", I witnessed her daughter piggy backing her brother, holding him under the water for a frightening length of time.

When he finally came up for air, he was very upset.

"You almost drowned me!"

Being held down in the deep end for long periods of time is never fun.

I think the little girl must have realized how badly she scared her brother, because by the time she made it to the 4' mark,  she was swimming with kindness.

"Are they brother and sister?" I asked.
"Yes."

Not mentioning the near drowning, "They seem to get along pretty well."

"They have their moments."
"I have two younger brothers myself, I get it."

Over the next several minutes we bonded about family and church and I overshared that I was hiding from a daughter who was being completely disrespectful, but still wanted me to drive her to the store.

"Have you heard of Beth Moore?"

"Of course! I love her!" I refrained from mentioning that I aspire to be a rock star for God like Beth someday.
"I think she has a book out about boundaries."

We agreed how hard it can be to hang out with family when you're not always on the same page, spiritually speaking, of course.

"I'm the Jesus freak in the family, so I get a lot of flak."

She nodded her understanding and a few minutes later my glass beer bottle carrying, you can't have glass bottles at the beach, daughter and her boyfriend, and the daughter I was hiding from, all came and sat beside me.

I was thirsty, so Zach offered me a drink of Pepsi from his oversized Styrofoam cup.

After nearly spit taking on my granddaughter's head, I yelled, "YUk! What is that?"

"Beer."

Chelsea chimed in with, "Yeah, she only likes Long Island Iced Teas. Oh! And margaritas!"
So much for her sea of forgetfulness, I thought, as she went on.

"Yeah, on my graduation cruise, she bought all the cab drivers in Jamaica drinks, got super drunk, slid down the ocean slide at Margaritaville and lost my bracelet on the giant bouncy."

Dear God, please shut her up.

"Then, she plopped herself down on the gangway to get back on the ship 'cause she couldn't find her ID and held up a long line of people while she pulled every single item out of her purse."
Please. Make it stop.

"Then, she starts calling out every item...'Lipstick', 'eyeliner,' 'maxi-pad.' It was hysterical."

I was horrified.

Not because it didn't happen, it totally did.

How snuggly that we can all enjoy my screw ups as a family.

Hoping to end the saga I say, "Yeah. I like that Facebook post that says, 'No good story every starts with, 'I was eating a salad and...."

Is it over yet?

"And then you made out with that guy that was like 32!"

Oh dear God.

Just own it. Why try to disguise.

"He was 34. And he was hot," I smiled.

My holy halo came crashing down on the concrete. Hard.

They all laughed.

My new friend got up and walked away.

What did I just read that morning?

"Let us not compare ourselves to others."

My journey is not your journey.

That was my journey to Jamaica in 2008.

"Oh, don't worry; we wouldn't dare say we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!" 2 Cor. 10:12 NLT

I despise the disguise.

"Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it." -
August 12th, "Jesus Calling"

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