Long Island Iced Teas and Shut Up Pleas!

Sometimes I enjoy basking in my extreme holiness.

I was on a two day vacay at Port Aransas, courtesy of my mother, and although I couldn't/didn't bring my bible, and my phone wouldn't work for YouVersion, I still managed to eek a few moments with God via quiet time and Sarah Young's Jesus Calling.

It mentioned resting and snuggling.
Did I mention I love resting and snuggling?

It talked about how important it is that we don't compare ourselves with others and urged us not to disguise our weaknesses, for it is in them, that God is able to work.

Holy, holy am I.

Did I mention I was on vacation?

So, as I was sunning myself by the pool, in my Most Highly modest swimsuit, I struck up a conversation with a woman nearby, even though she was wearing a super skinny bikini.

Over the top of my Nicholas Sparks, so romantic, but also holy book, "True Believer", I witnessed her daughter piggy backing her brother, holding him under the water for a frightening length of time.

When he finally came up for air, he was very upset.

"You almost drowned me!"

Being held down in the deep end for long periods of time is never fun.

I think the little girl must have realized how badly she scared her brother, because by the time she made it to the 4' mark,  she was swimming with kindness.

"Are they brother and sister?" I asked.
"Yes."

Not mentioning the near drowning, "They seem to get along pretty well."

"They have their moments."
"I have two younger brothers myself, I get it."

Over the next several minutes we bonded about family and church and I overshared that I was hiding from a daughter who was being completely disrespectful, but still wanted me to drive her to the store.

"Have you heard of Beth Moore?"

"Of course! I love her!" I refrained from mentioning that I aspire to be a rock star for God like Beth someday.
"I think she has a book out about boundaries."

We agreed how hard it can be to hang out with family when you're not always on the same page, spiritually speaking, of course.

"I'm the Jesus freak in the family, so I get a lot of flak."

She nodded her understanding and a few minutes later my glass beer bottle carrying, you can't have glass bottles at the beach, daughter and her boyfriend, and the daughter I was hiding from, all came and sat beside me.

I was thirsty, so Zach offered me a drink of Pepsi from his oversized Styrofoam cup.

After nearly spit taking on my granddaughter's head, I yelled, "YUk! What is that?"

"Beer."

Chelsea chimed in with, "Yeah, she only likes Long Island Iced Teas. Oh! And margaritas!"
So much for her sea of forgetfulness, I thought, as she went on.

"Yeah, on my graduation cruise, she bought all the cab drivers in Jamaica drinks, got super drunk, slid down the ocean slide at Margaritaville and lost my bracelet on the giant bouncy."

Dear God, please shut her up.

"Then, she plopped herself down on the gangway to get back on the ship 'cause she couldn't find her ID and held up a long line of people while she pulled every single item out of her purse."
Please. Make it stop.

"Then, she starts calling out every item...'Lipstick', 'eyeliner,' 'maxi-pad.' It was hysterical."

I was horrified.

Not because it didn't happen, it totally did.

How snuggly that we can all enjoy my screw ups as a family.

Hoping to end the saga I say, "Yeah. I like that Facebook post that says, 'No good story every starts with, 'I was eating a salad and...."

Is it over yet?

"And then you made out with that guy that was like 32!"

Oh dear God.

Just own it. Why try to disguise.

"He was 34. And he was hot," I smiled.

My holy halo came crashing down on the concrete. Hard.

They all laughed.

My new friend got up and walked away.

What did I just read that morning?

"Let us not compare ourselves to others."

My journey is not your journey.

That was my journey to Jamaica in 2008.

"Oh, don't worry; we wouldn't dare say we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!" 2 Cor. 10:12 NLT

I despise the disguise.

"Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it." -
August 12th, "Jesus Calling"

Permission granted. Please do so.

Shark Week is Over...But the Legend of the Shark's Tooth...Lives On!!

                                                                               (photo courtesy whisperfortheheart.wordpress.com)

Prayer works. I truly believe that.

Meal time prayers are especially special at our house.
Okay, that’s not exactly true.

I shoot for special, but am usually given the eye roll.

Recently at a family gathering, I was immediately interrupted.
“Lord, bless this food…”
Someone else chimed in, ”Blah blah blah. Let’s eat.”

Families are fun, aren’t they?

Even when it’s just Natalie and I at the dinner table, sometimes a few bites are gobbled before a blessing is given.

Last night though, over a deliciously economical, comfort meal of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, the spirit of the Lord showed up.

Sort of.

It had been a particularly hard day for Natalie, but I asked anyway.

“Would you like to say the blessing?”

She gave me the look that said, “I’m not really in a blessing saying kind of mood here, in case you didn’t notice,” but then, instead, smiled enthusiastically, “Sure!”

And with all the sincerity she could muster, “Thank you God for everything you do for us. Bless the thieves and the liars and the stealers. Amen.”

“The steelers? Like the Pittsburgh Steelers? Is it football season already?”

“No. The stealers that stole my Iphone.”

“Oh. Okay. Well you already said, thieves, so I was confused. Stealers and thieves are the same thing.”

There is absolutely nothing you can do or say to cheer up an almost 16 year old, who’s Iphone 5 was stolen, when she accidentally set it down in a skater store at the mall.

“We should pray that God moves on the heart of whoever took it, to return it. Or at least turn it on so we can use the locator service.”

The “pray for your enemies,” Polly Anna perspective was less than helpful.

What to say? What to say? What to say?

“I’m so sorry. I really can’t imagine how you feel. I know your whole life is in that phone. It’s terrible. It really is. Right now, I can’t buy another one. I’m sorry.”

“It’s probably like the equivalent of someone stealing our Atari when I was a kid.”

“No,” she said, “It’s not like that.”
“It would be more like someone stealing your laptop so you can’t write your blogs.”

Hobby blogs, she called them. Nice.

Hobby Lobby? Holly Hobby. Holy hobby? Whatever.

The eye roll doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“Well he sees everything. That’s all I’m saying.”

Lately, for my own purposes, I’ve been trying to recall the many times God has come through for us.

“Oh! Remember that time when you were in 4th or 5th grade? And you had just gotten your brand new LL Bean corduroy coat? The pink one with the fur on the collar and the shark tooth buttons?”

“Yes. I remember.”

“Remember how much you really, really wanted that coat? And then, like the first week of wearing it to school, you went down the metal slide sideways and one of the shark tooths (teeth?) broke in half?”

“I know the story mom.”

My mouth, as big as JAWS, cannot shut up.

Sherriff Brody couldn’t stop me with a high voltage, underground electric cable.

“I know. But how awesome was that? We prayed it would be found. You thought it was lost forever in a trillion million thousand grains of sand.”

The whole Girl Scout Troop prayed for the finding of that broken tooth button.

“And then what happened? Huh? What happened then?”

“I know what happened, mom.”

She wasn’t exactly giving me her seal of approval.

I was trying to build momentum, but the moment felt more like the Shark Week commercial featuring Snuffy the Seal.

Ignoring her pleas to stop, and with great enthusiasm, I finished the story for her.

“Three days later, after many recesses and running feet, Erin Haley was playing in the sand, and found it! That teeny, tiny piece of button, found, in all that stirred up sand.”

I can still see Natalie’s smiling face as she got in the car that day after school, sharing with me the amazing story of the recess miracle, “She yelled out at me, like Erin always does, “Natalie! Is this your shark tooth button? I’m like, Oh my gosh! It is! It is!!”

“Can you believe it mom?”
“Yes, baby girl. Of course I believe it.”

I believed it then.

I believe it now.

We weren’t able to glue the button back onto the coat. For some reason, the Super Glue wouldn’t stick.

But, I know that story did.

It was a faith builder for myself, and a lot of little girls that day.

And I kept that shark tooth button.

For times just like these.
When we so desperately need to remember, that prayer works.

Life Lessons from Lepers

                                                                                                              (courtesy of mochadad.com)

I know the importance of giving.

So, I'm going to GIVE one of the greatest tips I know.

It is especially helpful on days I decide to apply it.

BE THANKFUL!

I keep reading how important it is to GIVE good content to your readers and not make the blog all about you.

Sometimes, it may come off as, "all about me," because I am most comfortable with just telling stories.

I have a hard time "shoulding" people.

Well, unless we are related or I was married to you once.

It's much easier for me to illustrate life points through stories of personal failures and successes.

Then I don't feel like I'm pointing fingers and saying, "You should do this. You should not do that."

One thing I know, I know for sure....be thankful.

Want to know God's will for your life?

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:18

I love that!

A few weeks ago, I was reading to some kids at Samm's Ministries and it occurred to me how much they were sort of like little lepers. 

Except...their thankfulness ratios were much, much higher!

I think there were about 25-30 kids in attendance to make pretty pigs crafts and then listen to my story, "Pig's Big Adventure".

About 5 or so of them, came back to say, "Thanks!" before they left.

And man did that curl my tail!

"Ooohhh! You are so totally going places with manners like that!" I squealed.

And their faces lit up.

Just like the bible man that came back to give thanks after he was miraculously healed. Have you heard the story?

There were 10 lepers that Jesus healed, but only one came back to give thanks.

One!

I can't imagine having terribly painful lesions and sores all over my whole body for years and years and not saying, "Thanks!" to the one who relieved me of the pain.

If a person had Leprosy, they were basically cast out from the general population.

The story is in Luke 17.

Jesus came across 10 lepers on his way to Jerusalem.

"He traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

What is peculiar is, if you had leprosy, and you thought you were healed, or in remission, then you had to go do a sort of show and tell, for the priests, so they could then give their permission to be populated back into society.

As they went...they were healed. As they went?

Obviously the guys had enough faith they were going to be healed, right?

Otherwise, wouldn't they have waited to go until they were, for sure, healed?

'Cause I don't know about you, but I'm thinking it would be really, really embarrassing to just show up and stand before some priests in fancy hats, with a bunch of pus and fistules saying, "Wait for it...wait for it...."

I'm sorry. I just got that visual in my head and I can't stop laughing.

"One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. 

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

I'd like to think I'd have been thankful enough to at least send a pretty Hallmark card!

Seriously though, for that kind of healing, I'd opt to make a special trip back, just so I could flash my new flesh before Jesus.

"Thank you!! Thank you! OMG! You are soooo the G! Look at me!Thank you! Thank you!"

One of the verses I've been really letting sink in lately is, "Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. (click that link for sure) Then, you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6 

Tell somebody thank you today. Or send them a pretty card.

Practice Does Not Make You Perfect!

I've been thinking about Mrs. Rodewald a lot lately.

She was the journalism teacher who told me I could write.

Not only did she tell me I could write, without my knowledge, she nominated me for the Quill and Scroll Honor Society for Young Journalists.

And based on some writings, including a music review of a Prince concert I saw in Dallas, I was accepted.

I think it started out like this, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life...."
Electric word, life.

Some life lessons come easier than others.

I should have known there would be a test.

There's always a test.

Just as soon as I think I have some wonderful, victorious living, quality down pat, I get tested.
And fail.

This week, I will not be Jesus The Teacher's pet.

Knowing I would be with about 14 other family members for several days in a row, I tried to get all prayed up.

I used to refer to my brothers as the Spawns of Satan, and I regret that now.

The word says to practice hospitality.

Sadly, I'm just not always good at it, especially with the people closest to me.

"Okay. Today Lord, help my speech be gracious and attractive."

I walked happily through my mom's front door with every intention of being loving and kind.
"Hey Lurch!" yelled my brother.

What goes around, really does come around doesn't it?
It's the reaping and sowing thing.
And it was pretty much down hill from there.

Down, down, down....down on my knees I went after I got home, total crybaby on the carpet style.
All because I continue to let things people say get under my skin.

And I failed to remain gracious, and the speech in my head, was not loving at all.

I thought I was ready. I thought I was prepared.
I thought I would respond to criticism with love and peace.
Nope. Not so much.

This week I was going to write about not letting stuff get to you.
But now I won't.

Because I have not practiced it enough to be victorious, and I really don't want to be like the guys in Matthew 23.

Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, ".........But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach."

Holy do-overs!!

I've hung out on Hypocrite Hill. Again.

I just had a flashback to the fourth grade, and I think I understand the lesson.

Even though I studied the chapter and I memorized the material, I got the test handed back to me, and it was wrong.

It is possible to have done the book work, but my actual field application needs some work.
Because my relational reactions this week, really sucked.

When I'm feeling particularly brave I will ask God, "Please reveal to me if I have done something or said something that was offensive to you or not the way you would have responded in a situation."

And then he does.
And I pray He's grading on a curve.

Because don't we all look at our own stuff and measure it against the rest of the class?

Aren't we pretty sure we don't deserve as bad of a grade as some of the others?

Maybe we are guilty of C behavior, but not a flat out F!

Sin is sin. Period.

And although it is an easy Spelling Bee word, it's not a very popular one.

"Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life is in them...." 1 John 3:9

I don't want to make sinning a practice, but, it happens.

"Everyone wants to be on a winning team, but no one wants to come to practice."  - Bobby Knight

As a believer, I don't expect that I'm going to be perfect, but I do want to practice being better at this thing called life.

Doing the book work is important.

And so is putting it into practice.

But, as a former teacher's pet, I'm very aware that I've just been asked to help pass out the papers, not actually grade them.

"And if the elevator tries to break ya down, go crazy.....punch a higher floor!'

It's Getting Hot in Here!!!!

                                                                                                  (image courtesy of theendtimecall.com)
Hot! Hot! Hot! Can you feel it?
Hot! Hot! Hot!

I woke up this morning burning up.

And opened up my bible to Daniel.

I haven't been able to get him, the two shacks and nego out of my head for the last few days.

So I figured I better revisit the man from the Lion's Den.

Ridiculously awesome bible story to follow:

(INSERT: "I'M NOT A BIBLE SCHOLAR" DISCLAIMER HERE)

I never attended seminary and am not a certified bible teacher.

Though I gotta tell you, I would really love to do this fiery furnace craft I found on the web earlier....too fun!

Exactly how do you get a gig working in Bibleland anyway?

I'm sure they have gatekeepers.

Anyway, back to the story...

So, King Nebuchadnezzar, who we will refer to from here on out as...The Nebster, ordered his soldiers to go to Judah, a place they just pummeled, and gather up the strongest, smartest, most handsome men and bring them back to Babylon for training.

Many of those men were from royal, well off families, and included in that gathered group was Daniel and three of his friends who would later be named, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

There's a ton more to the story, but they ended up becoming great men that excelled at everything and The Nebster put them in charge of many things.

But, reigning over kingdoms had its ups and downs I guess and King Nebster had a terribly disturbing dream.

It's pretty hilarious because, he first called in his sort of Psychic Friend Network guys, and asked them to interpret the dream.

They said, "Well, tell us your dream first and then we'll tell you what it meant."

This really ticked the King off 'cause he thought they were trying to scam him...and they probably were.

I lol'd reading it this morning.

They're response was so similar to one I had when I called Dell Computers several years back.

Me: "I'm locked out of my computer. I lost my password. Can you please tell me my password?"

Guy from India in his sweetest Indian voice, but a little sarcastic: "How can I possibly know what you would choose for a password? I am not in your head, and I cannot be in your head, therefore, I would not know what you would  choose for a password. So, no...I cannot."

I hope to go to India soon. And I really, really hope to run into him so I can give him a big hug, "Psst. The password was password."

So basically they told the king, "We can't possibly know the meaning if we don't know what you dreamt?"

Super annoyed, as we can be when we don't get our way, he ordered all the smart guys to be killed, including, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

But Daniel was always thinking fast on his feet and said, "What happened to make him so mad?"

So, one of Nebster's right hand guys who favored Daniel, told him what had happened.

Favor is good. Thank you God for favor!

Daniel said, "Let me tell him what his dream meant."

Then, in preparation for seeing the king, he prayed with the guys and asked God to reveal both what the dream was and what it meant.

God did.

So Daniel did.

And blew King Nebster's mind.

Initially, he was super grateful about it.

But then he let his equally super ego and pride get in the way and he thought he could just build a
bigger, stronger more awesome 90' statue of gold.

If there was ever an occasion to have Solid Gold Dancers on stand by, this was it!

Then he ordered everyone to immediately bow down to the statue when they heard the music ...but Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, would not.

They could have given many legit excuses and done it anyway, but they trusted God and believed He would have their backs.

Basically they told Nebster, "Our God is able and will save us. But...even if he doesn't...."

Even if he doesn't???

"We will not bow down to another God or your idol."

That's faith in action!

Even if he doesn't?

Being a Christian does not guarantee that the relationships, the healing, the finances or the breakthrough will ever come.

If faith always worked, the footnotes say, Christianity would just be good insurance for everyone.

No faith would be required if it were a guarantee.

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, even when not evidenced by what we see." Hebrews 11.

Those guys had some seriously solid gold faith!

And that gets me so totally fired up!

And King Nebby too...
He got really, really, mad and ordered the fiery furnace to be stoked up seven times hotter than usual so the three rebels would plummet into the flames and die.

 They got fired up alright.

But then they walked out not even smelling like smoke!

Let's get fired up! Clap, clap...clap, clap, clap!!!!

 

Can we make the craft now?

You're a Glitch Girl...And You've Gone Too Far...

(courtesy of deviantart)

Vanellope von Schweetz: [after a trial run] So how'd I do?

Wreck-It Ralph: Uh... well, you almost blew up the whole mountain...

Vanellope von Schweetz: Right, right. That's a good note.

Sometimes it takes a cartoon character to lead us to a breakthrough.

For me, the lesson came in the form of spunky and spectacular, Vanellope von Schweetz in the movie, Wreck it Ralph.

During one of our neighborhood nights out, we set up the big screen  borrowed from Oak Hills Church, and had a great night with friends and family watching it by the pool.

I was completely enveloped by Vanellope.

Her story is my story.

And maybe yours too?

"Everyone here thinks I'm a mistake," she told Ralph.
And I understand that feeling.

And I know it's not true.

Deep down, Vanellope knew she was a racer.

And she believed she was a winner.

Despite the fact that she occasionally, "glitched," she knew she wasn't a Glitch.

King Candy: If Vanellope races, Ralph, she'll be in the game roster. When that happens, anyone who plays her in the game will see she's a glitch. We'll be put out of order for good.
And then Ralph sold her out.

I hated that part the most.

"I'm not a Glitch! I just have Pixlexia!"

Vanellope was very much aware of her issues, but she didn't focus on them. She focused on crossing the finish line.

She knew those issues didn't define her and she also knew she wasn't like the other Sugar Rush girls.

She was created different.

And unique.

Aren't we all just a bunch of characters who glitch on occasion?

I glitch this way, you glitch that way.

Give me grace for my glitching, I'll give you some back.

Horrifically, my daughters interrupted the last 10 minutes of the movie and I was devastated.
I just had to know what happened to that little girl!

So, a few days later, I solo rented it on U-Verse...with no one else home, and bawled my eyes out.

I determined to not let my glitching define me as a person, but instead, allow me to recognize and reboot in the places I keep short circuiting.

Fix it Felix can't do it.

Only my creator can fix those glitches.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24

Sometimes I struggle to see the finish line or the prize.
And solely focus on the lies.

You are a mistake.

You are A Glitch.

No. I'm not.

I was created in the image of God.

Set apart for a purpose.

"Our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
                                                                                                                                            - Walt Disney

Keep Calm and Glitch On Girls!

I Bless the Rains Down in Africa...

So in the middle of my ark building activities and constant questioning, I've been really wondering.

"Am I really hearing God's voice?"

"Is He hearing me?"

"Can you hear me, Lord?"

"Can ya?"

I explain my reasons for doubting, "Well that doesn't make any sense."
Immediately back, "My ways are higher than your ways. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge me and I will direct you your paths."

I have to provide for my family.
"I am your provider."

It can be very scary charting unknown territories.
"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

I'm still scared.
"Fear not. I am with you."

But, I don't know what I'm suppose to be doing right now.
"Be still and know that I am God. Just trust. I will give you rest."

But I feel like I should be doing something.

I struggle with resting. I really do.

I'm a doer.

So I I've been trying to just seek and rest in peace.

Well, not that kind of RIP.

I've also been sleeping a little later than usually and feeling pretty guilty about it.

Also, I'm really having to force myself to not move in, 'make something happen,' mode.

That's what I usually do.

I try to fix it or figure it out myself with logical thinking.

Resting right now is okay?? Really?

So when I pray, "What do you want me to do today Lord?" and he replies back, "Do whatever you want. But do it with excellence."

It raises the bar on scrubbing the bathtub.

Or getting along with my family.

Or people who were probably well meaning with words, but to hear them out loud in my ears, they just sounded mean.

Some topics still sting.

Substantially.

"Can ya hear me Lord? Can ya see me?"

"Can ya?"

And then He told me he could.

From Kenya.

"It's the song of the redeemed, rising from the African plains."

He reigns.

After hearing more things I didn't want to hear and wiping away the twenty million thousandth tear, I decided to let it go and just be excellent.

These are the situations when we are called to just shake off the dust, get on with the day and go through the mail.

In God's perfect timing, I received minutes later, a  heartfelt letter of thanks from my Child Fund sponsored child.

My sweet Syprian is three years old.

Her mother Lilian took the time to write a letter and send her thanks for a card I sent a while back.
She wanted to let me know they are doing well and praying for my family as well.

She included in her letter a picture that Syprian had drawn for me.

I'm crying as I type this because God is just so always totally blowing me away with His awesomeness!

He is the creator of heaven and earth, the alpha, the omega...the one who set the moon and the stars and told the ocean where to stop..and still, still....takes the time to position people in Africa to send a perfect message at the perfect time.

Just for me.

Next to Syprian's adorable pencil drawing were the words, handwritten by her mother,

"Baby Sleeping."

"He makes me lie down in green pastures and plants me beside still waters."

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Africa! Are you kidding me?

Kenya?

" I can."