Are you Dyslexic?

                                                     

                                                                                                                  (courtesy of dyslexia2z.com)

                               

      It seems that I'm in a transition period lately and every time I question what in the world is going on with my life, I remember this story that happened several years ago.

     Also, I know that God is unchanging and I know that this word is just as relevant to my life today as it was when it happened.

God knew I didn’t really want to go to church that Wednesday night.

I'd had enough of the whole trying to walk the walk thing and never feeling like I measured up and like I was doing the Christian thing all wrong.
I had an attitude with a capital "A".
But, I went anyway.

Newcomers, visitors and tenured believers alike had all come together that evening to hear the guest pastor bring a word of encouragement.

With a loud and strong southern twang he began, “It is not by chance that you are here tonight. The Lord has asked me to deliver to you a very special message."

"He wants you to know that despite what it looks like, the promises he’s given you, will come to pass!”

 "I say, they will come to pass!"

Shouting now with over exaggerated vowels, “They will come to pass!”
 

 I think I rolled my eyes.

My sometimes minute by minute attention span wandered from the message and into my own doubting and often defiant mind. “How Lord?”
 

“How are the promises you’ve given me really going to come to pass? I'm going to be a world changer? Really? Have you seen me lately? Have you seen my family? My finances?

 I can’t even change my own life, let alone try and be a light in the world!"
"How am I ever going to be able to make a difference to anyone when I can't even get victory over my own stupid self? How? I mean it...tell me how!!”

My attitude was accusatory and unbelieving.

My life was a walking contradiction and I often ignored the prodding and convictions, convinced I could do things my way.

I pleaded once with him, "I just want some direction!"
He replied back with, "What you need girl, is a whole lotta correction."
Gulp.
Forget I asked. :)

The pastor continued with his sermon, but I wasn't really listening.
I was still caught up in trying to figure out 'how'.

And then I heard it.

That still small voice.

“Are you dyslexic?”
 

It's totally true that you reap what you sow.
There was an unmistakable undertone of sass behind the question.

My eyes grew wide, brows raised and I looked up at the sky and thought, “Are you talking to me?”
 

Again, “Are you dyslexic?”
 

Seriously?
 “Um, no Lord, I’m not dyslexic.”
"In fact, I'm a very good speller."

"Good, then get this."
“It’s not H-O-W.” 

“It’s W-H-O.”
He spelled it out. Just like that. One letter at a time.
 

It took me a minute to make sense of what I’d heard, so I spelled it out in my head

"H-O-W, W-H-O."
 

Five seconds later, I got the revelation.

Wow. I don’t often hear him quite so clearly.
But that I heard. And that, I understood.

It was one of those lightening bolt, jolting moments when something all of a sudden makes so much sense!

I don’t have to worry about how God is going to turn my ashes into beauty. I don’t have to be concerned with how he is going to restore the years that the locusts have eaten, or how he is going to bring forth the promises he's given me over the years.

 He said that he would and that settles it.

What I do have to do is believe that he is who he says he is and will do what he says he is going to do!
Period.

Just as importantly, I have to know down deep inside who he says that I am and I have to believe it!

I don't know about you, but that part is sometimes soooo much harder.

I don’t have to worry about the HOW!

I just have to know the WHO!