Someone Really Shook My Peaches...For Real!

I am blown away!
And I don't mean because of the high winds, the tornado warning, weather brought in last night.
I mean, seriously blown away!
Someone really must have wanted to shake my peaches.
Well, not shake them so much, just flat out, stole them. Limbs and all!

Here is my doomsday of discovery, and the way it all went down....
Woke up extremely late and got a bowl of Fruit Loops.
It's national retro cereal week, I love holidays and I've already eaten most of the Peanut Butter Captain Crunch.
Studied briefly Ephesians 4 and forwarded the message to someone who will not appreciate my thoughtfulness.
It's about maturity and oneness.
I usually eat Grape Nuts. And only one bowl.
Listened to One Love, by U2 on Youtube.

But, then I checked Amazon.com and saw that my book, "Pig's Big Adventure", had dropped to like 279,151.
I think I ate another bowl. I don't remember. I cried like a baby.
Real mature.
It's the first week. I won't panic.

FROG!
(I learned that from Tamara Out Loud) a fellow blogger and Jesus lover who occasionally tosses out a word that you're not allowed to say if you want a "G" rating.
I knew at the time, I should have screen shot it when it went to 46,412 on Saturday.
Boo-hoo!
I didn't because of my incredible faith, that, some days is even as big as a watermelon seed!
And I was sure it would go higher than that....

Next, I find that all 21 of my massive bean poles are lying on the ground in a home grown garden huddle.
There are so many vines and so many beans that when the storms hit last night, they came crashing to the ground. OH SNAP!

They broke my 7 adorably crafted bamboo tee pees.
Alright, I'll just say it again.
No.
Contrary to rumors around town, I never actually lived in a tee pee!!
Yes, I did stay in one for the weekend.
Who wouldn't? They're tee pees! How cool is that?
 Did we not all grow up playing cowboys and Indians?
Skipping over the lame peace pipe jokes, that too, is a no.

Yes, I slept in it, with my children, and many other musician families and their children.
No, we were not starting a cult like over in Waco.
No, we were not forming a colony for nudists.
No, we were not burying ammunition and firearms for Y2K.
Yes, there was a large purchase of dry and canned goods made.

And maybe a generator.

Now that we've cleared that up...let me get back to my original rant.
Snap beans.
Actually, the bean poles are not what has caused me to snap today.
It's the peaches!
I can't type fast enough to let out my frustration.
Simply, I must use the already, seriously overused in my vocabulary, but one word which conveys how I'm feeling the best.......

REALLY? REALLY?

Someone apparently decided it would be okay to go into my back yard and CUT OFF limbs from my peach tree that were loaded with fruit!
Yes, that's what I said.
They went into my yard and cut off whole limbs!
Whole LIMBS!
True, I have been busy and some were falling but...
I wasn't even done canning!

Last week or the week before, I wrote about my peach tree needing pruned.
But seriously?
Someone cut them clean away...all the way back to the trunk!
They did not, however, bother to take the DEAD limbs. Or spray the fresh cuts.
They left me with exactly 22 small peaches. Not even enough for a 6 pack of peach rosemary jam.

I don't even like beer and I'm contemplating a 6 pack at this point.
At first, I would suspect my two oldest daughters, but that would require actual work and they were probably too busy pilfering through the closets stealing shirts, shoes and quarters from my change jar.

I'm sorry, did that sound angry?
I meant "borrowing" without permission, probably never to be returned.
"It's not lost, it's in College Station. So and so has it...."
Grrr...
What country is it where they actually cut off your limbs for stealing?

Consider it joy, when you go through trials....blah, blah, blah....
Sorry Lord, I love ya...but please let me finish venting...
Sure, I could do my Beverly Hillbilly best, "I've got joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart...."
But I'm not feeling it right this second.

The only way I am going to feel good about this is if someone who really needed to EAT got them.
But then, why not just take the peaches?
Who would saw off whole limbs of my tree?
In the blog about peaches, I said, "you can have a few...but it's gonna cost you..a limb or two."
It was an analogy for Pete's sake...I didn't say, "It's gonna cost me....or my tree a limb or two!!!

WTFrog!!!

I used to use FROG as an acronym for, Fully Rely On God.

Yeah. Tell that to the frog that's lying dead in the bottom of my pool, dried up and floating on top of  rainwater turned pond scum, because my pool has been empty for a month waiting on an acid wash.

I can't complain, because I'm lame and Ken at Superior Pools is doing it to be kind and generous to a crazy girl.
I used to be on the other end of those kind of deals.
In fact, I much prefer to be on the other end of those deals.

Perhaps someone didn't approve of my obvious lack of pruning skills, and decided to just show me how it's done.
"Ya just cut if off, jerk off! Just...like...that!" I can almost hear them.

Alrighty then. Thank you for allowing me that rant.
I'm done now.
Well sort of...I was in the middle of an online training and my computer crashed on me...AGAIN!
I feel like Alexander in the mixed up horrible, no good, very bad day book.
But, I have the house to myself, one remaining bowl of Fruit Loops and a great instructional read.

I just received Michael Hyatt's new book, "Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World," in the mail today.
Thank God!
A man with a plan.
His book made it to number 4 the first week on Amazon!!
I better be taking notes.
And can I please borrow someone's noisemaker?
I feel a joyful noise coming on. ;)