What a Bird Brain!!!

                                                                                                                  (photo courtesy of 123rf.com)




Typically, I'm not a "the cup is half full" kind of girl.
I'm more of a "the cup is at least 2/3 full, but ready for overflowing!!" type.

Yes.
I am also the kind of girl that totally over uses exclamation points.
On paper. And in real life.

Lately though, I've been a little gun shy.
(Sorry for the bad timing on that phrase...and dear God, please be with those who are suffering so badly in Colorado. I can't even imagine the heartache.)

Any kind of loss is painful.
Loss of jobs.
Loss of passion and purpose.
Loss of loved ones.


And losing at love.


Some days, even hoping for better days is unbearable.
Ya know what I mean?

I've been blind sided by things I didn't see coming.

And the charming, child like faith I usually have, begins to feel more like a farce.

But then God swoops in, just like the great Jehovah Nick-of-Time that he is.
And I'm awed by his awesomeness.

For the last year or so, I have really felt that I was going to be moving.
But I remained immobile.
Totally stuck in my comfort zone which actually, eventually just got quite uncomfortable.
I haven't made the best decisions this year and didn't want to make another huge mistake.
So I just waited and prayed.


Finally, I said, "I don't care Lord. It's all yours anyway. If you want me to move, sell my house."
Not even three days later, it went under contract with a client I'd been working with for a very long time.
He hadn't even seen it!

"Don't you want to see it first?"
"No. Not really. I saw pictures on the internet."
"Did you see the cracks in the tile and the jacked up drywall?"

Don't get me wrong.
I love my house.
It's been our home.
Not necessarily a Ward and June Cleaver family style of living has gone on here, but a lot of truly wonderful memories.
And some, not so much.
I choose to remember the good.

But then I also started to remember how bad things have gone and I just kept waiting, day after day, for the other shoe to drop or the rug to once again, get yanked out from under me unexpectedly.

This time, at least I would be expecting it.

One day, a few weeks ago, I was out laying in the pool and quietly freaking out in my head and talking to God about the move and all of the what if's.
What if I can't find a place to live?
What if Natalie hates me forever for pulling her out of all she's ever known since she was two?
What if I move her back to the big city and she falls in with the wrong crowd and becomes a crack head?
What if you know who thinks I'm stalking him?
What if nothing works out and I can't make ends meet?

All of a sudden, God plunked into my head the verse in Matthew that says something about "not worrying about your life."

Okay, I just looked it up. It's Matthew 6:25.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet, your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

I'm like a bird!

So, after imagining myself more like a big fat giant buzzard, who was going to end up dining on dead deer flesh and other disgusting road kill-catessens, I noticed the cutest, tiniest little bird land on the waterfall.

And he started to drink.
And then I glanced at the sky and started to think.
Good one God.

But he wasn't done.
(God, not the bird.)
Several minutes later, another beautiful, colorful bird landed on the privacy fence in front of me, just under the mulberry tree they've been snacking on since spring.

He had the brightest, longest, almost fluorescent green worm hanging from it's mouth.
I'm pretty sure he turned to smile at me, sort of smugly, with his bright yellow bird beak.

Since I was in the pool, I didn't have my Birds of Texas bible with me and wondered what kind it was.
Then it occurred to me.
A MOCKING bird probably.
What a bird brain I can be!

And then I started to cry.
God is so good.
He's there in it all.
If I will just remember to look for him.
And give thanks for everything.

The house actually closed yesterday.
And now I'm ready to move.
I have a new perspective on things.
Before, I was dreading the what if's and the packing and didn't even know if I should.
I found myself complaining a lot about all that I have.
"There's just so much stuff!"

But today, it's different.
I feel so totally grateful for it all.
The good and the bad.
I don't have a lot of nice or fancy things, but I sure do have a lot more than most in the world.
Look at all I have to pack!
Or give away!

I shouldn't be looking at this as a burden, but a blessing for all that I do have.

Thank you God that I have a closet full of clothes, including the fabulous Not Your Daughter's Jeans that I finally bought from The Thing Is Boutique immediately after closing. (I've pined for those pants for over a year!)

Thank you that there is food in my fridge and cabinets to pack.

Thank you that I have pretty little things all over my house that mean something special to me.

Thank you that I have had a roof over my head, and daughters in their beds.

And thank you especially, for graciously loving me through all of my complaining, fears, endless tears, and disobedience and doubt.

I'm gonna go out on a 'limb' here.....
And say THANK YOU in advance for moving me in a new direction and giving me wings to fly!


And THANK YOU that I can see with my bird's eye view, my cup really is, totally overflowing!!!!!