Ranting & Raving about Channing Tatum

Well, I've just enjoyed the largest tempter tantrum that my fixin' to be 15 year old daughter has probably ever thrown. (I know. I swore I'd never use the term fixin' when I moved to Texas. Amazing what 16 years can do to you.)

I'm grateful that she really is a lovely girl, because when I went through this stage with her older sisters they were bold and disrespectful enough to tell me to 'F' off.

I have a sign in the back yard that says, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I roll my eyes and apologize to the sky when I read it some days.

Also, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only God loving mother on the planet who deals with this kind of thing.

Once, when I was in third grade I told my mother that I hated her.

Once.

Today, I am hating on Channing Tatum and the Movie Rating Review Board.

Because of 21 Jump Street.

Rated R.

Really?

(Okay maybe I'm also just a little fleshed out and frustrated at him because I secretly would like to see "Magic Mike," but I won't.)

In the 80's, I used to love watching Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street!

They were great role models, so what happened in 20 some years?

I agreed to go to Redbox and get the movie for her and her BFF to see.

It never occurred to me it would be rated R.

But, being the basically honest, good girl that she is, she admitted it was "R" as she walked to the box.

The defense argument began after hearing the description.

The movie, 21 Jump Street, is rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, drug material, teen drinking and some violence.

I went home and watched the trailer.

And LOL'd.

I believe the term "titty twister" falls under crude and sexual content.

She's going into 9th grade. 

Her own sisters have twisted.

She should be a lawyer.

"I've been offered drugs and I said no!"

"I've been offered alcohol and I said no!"

"I've heard the "F" word a million times and Channing Tatum is F-ing hot!"

True that.

"I'm going to a bigger school. It's the real world, and it's not always pretty. You say that yourself all the time! I know what to do and what not to do. Just because I see people drinking or talking about drugs in a movie, doesn't mean I'm stupid enough to use them!"

For real.

She's not.

Thank you Jesus for this fabulous girl who wins the title for being, "The Most Righteous One in the Whole Family."

Just yesterday we had a sit down talk about writing, my blog and the books that I'm going to write.

I want to be honest, but it could be hurtful to her.

So, we talked about it.

I admitted to making some very bad choices and I didn't want my bad choices to reflect on her, because she is a good choice maker.

I apologized for not always being a great role model.

And then I started crying.

Some of my testimony is hideous, and downright embarrassing.

But I have always, always wanted to be honest with my kids.

Many have disagreed with me and told me to shut up and keep it to myself.

But I've been lied to before about important things. 

And it manifests mistrust in many ways.

I've also been a single mother with 3 girls for a gazillion years who know me way too well, and I don't think they would buy it or appreciate it if I tried to BS them.

While I am terribly sorry for some aspects of my life that are so shameful, I'm also grateful, because I truly believe that the crudeness of my credentials validates Christ.

Most of the time.

And maybe not to every one's standards.

I just care about The One.

I've also been thinking a lot about what Michael Hyatt wrote in one of his recent posts, "What kind of legacy do you want to leave for your grandchildren?"

Ouch. 

My legacy is a little legendary.

And not so much in a good way.

I further explained to Natalie, "Honey, we each have to find our own revelation of Christ. Mine came through hard times. Many of those were stupid, selfish and self-imposed."

"And I know you're sick of me falling apart during worship, and carrying on about God stuff these days, but honestly Nat...if he weren't real, wasn't living in me, and holding me every single step of the way, especially lately, I wouldn't even be here right now."

"I know mom."

"I believe."

And then I started crying again.

"I can't, not, tell this stuff. I feel compelled to share. All I want to do is let other hurting people know that God is real, and no matter how many times you screw up, he loves us and forgives us and moves us forward with his direction and his plans. He's called me for a purpose, just like he has you..and I don't want to ignore it just because it doesn't sound...nice."

This is sort of how I remember it a day later anyway. 

I can only hope it was this thoughtful.

As much as I love The Waltons and Andy Griffith, I find that life is not much like that these days.

It can be dirty and dysfunctional.

We are a messed up bunch of people with issues.

A lot of us anyway.

 

Life sometimes deserves an R rating.

My story, if told on the big screen would be at least that.

If I'm being really honest, maybe even XXX. 

"To the pure, all things are pure...to those who're defiled, unbelieving, nothing is pure."

I so totally get that.

It's hard to relate if you haven't been there.

If you haven't been defiled or unbelieving.

I have.

And I've also been pulled out of that miry pit that stinks and set on a mountain top. 

I wear perfume called Pure just to catch a whiff of what that might smell like.

"I will accept you as fragrant incense when I bring you out from the nations and gather you from the countries where you have been scattered, and I will be proved holy through you in the sight of nations. Then you will know that I am the Lord." Ezekiel 20

Christ IS pure.

And it's in his perfection only, that I can get a two thumbs up, five star rating.

And, from women all around the world, "Thank you Lord for Channing Tatum." :D