Exorcising Faith When Selling Your Home?

I was super excited to receive a link from my Uncle Danny today.
The title of the article he sent was, "Faith in Real Estate: Using Divine Intervention to Sell Homes."

That is to say, I was excited until I realized the article was about the effectiveness of burying a St. Joseph statue in the yard, in order to expedite the sale of your home.

Good grief!
I know many people who swear by it.
But, I've tried it.
And it only made me swear.

Seriously.
I had a house to sell, and a friend, thank you Julie, called me one day and said, "I've been thinking about the house on Lee St. and you really need to bury a St. Joseph in that yard. It works!"

And though I thought it might be infringing on the whole "no idols before me" thing, I was desperate.

So....I did what I do when God doesn't move when I want him to.....I took the matter into my own hands.
I jumped on the internet and ordered a three pack, just in case it really did work.
There were other listings I needed to sell as well.

Honestly, I had hoped for something a little more holy when they arrived in the mail.
But then again, I thought to myself, "What do you expect for $4.00 a saint?"

Very, very carefully I followed the directions.
Or did I?

They were fairly specific and I don't remember what they were exactly but it was something like, "place the saint 6" in the ground on the northeast corner of the house," and blah, blah, blah....

Generally, I do read directions.
Much better than I follow them anyway.
So....I buried the blessed St. Joseph in the yard of the house that wasn't exactly the house that Jack built but more like a giant albatross around my neck.

And I prayed.
Most of the time I pray with buyers and sellers anyway.

In fact, I've been accused of "using God" to sell real estate.
As if God would actually allow me to "use" him for anything.

And truthfully I do.
We are told after all, "commit your plans unto the Lord and you will have good success."
Something like that anyway.
He wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. Relationships, family, finances, business...etc...

Where was I again?
Oh yeah...I prayed.

But this time, I needed to use a Catholic prayer.
So, digging into my past and reaching into the bag of religious goodies, I pulled out a, "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee..."

Umpteen months later, I wondered if I shouldn't have gone with the Act of Contrition, "Oh my God, I am heartily sorry, for having offended thee....and I detest all my sins...."

Much more suited to the situation.

After a few years of it still sitting on the market, I told my wise and sometimes, only occasionally 'cause I'm paranoid, trusted 'friend'..... "I think the house on Lee St. is under a curse because of that statue!"
"So dig it up."

"Seriously. I do. Or maybe I didn't do it right."
"Maybe I was supposed to bury him upside down and facing south?"
"Or was it right side up facing east?"

He laughed at me.
"I think I must have done it wrong."

I'm always sure I've done it wrong.
"So let's go dig it up."

Needless to say, in my life, nothing is hardly ever what or where I think it should be, and apparently, St. Joseph, much like Jesus, rose from the dead and walked off...or maybe he marched?

Oh when the saints.....

Or maybe a digging dog got him?

'Cause we dug here.
And there.
And here.
And there.

Three different times I drove over with a shovel to try and find the missing saint.
But I could not.

And I guess God was too busy with having the world in his hands, that he couldn't possibly show up and help me hold a shovel for more of my hole digging.

Three years later and massively in debt for a decision I made solely based on fear, the house finally sold.

Divine intervention?
For sure!

I could tell amazing and unbelievable stories about how many times God came through with some serious divine intervention and got things done for me!

I was a little surprised to read as the article goes on, that a relocation company actually paid $1500.00 for a two hour exorcism.

I've never heard of such a thing and I've been in real estate for 22 years!
Pretty spooky scam they've got going if you ask me.

The word says, "Resist the enemy and he will flee...."
And talk is cheap.
In fact, it's FREE!!!

Now then, if we're rolling out the welcome mat and inviting him in the front door....
That's what's really gonna cost us.
Then just sit back and get ready to reeaaallly watch some heads spin!

I choose just plain old fashioned faith.

This weekend, I think I'll just bake some cookies, put out my OPEN HOUSE sign at 7623 MISSION LEDGE, and wait for God to show up and make himself at home!