Happy Fun Girl: "Come on down! You're the next contestant..."

Happy Fun Girl: "Come on down! You're the next contestant...":                                                                 (photo courtesy of coffeegodandme.blogspot.com) Don't you just hate it...

"Come on down! You're the next contestant..."

                                                                (photo courtesy of coffeegodandme.blogspot.com)

Don't you just hate it when life interrupts your dreams?
I haven't posted in a while.
Pretty lame, especially when I know one of the most important things you can do to build a platform or an audience is post consistently.

Michael Hyatt said so.
And I believe him.
But lately, I've been listening to the "other voice" in my head.

You know the one.
It sits on your shoulder, just lingering outside of your ear, chiding and mocking all day long.
"You can't do this. You can't do that."
"You are not "called" to do anything, no one wants to hear what you have to say."
"You are a failure at everything you try to do."

And if I'm particularly tired, stressed, broke or freaking out about something, it all sounds so true.
I am the self-appointed queen of LameLand.

Just a few weeks ago, I was laying in bed, or is it lying? I'm not sure...whatever, anyway...
Snuggled up with the dogs beside me, I silently sat there and prayed for many things concerning our new life in the city. I asked for clarity, direction, finances, relationship restoration, my family and of course, the starving children in Africa and world peace.

I wrapped it all up by telling God, "I really do want to live a life that is filled with passion and purpose, stable and consistent."

Being the Holy Spirit Sass Master as He can be with me, I clearly heard back, "You are."
And I had to furrow my brow, a little confused, because I knew that was so totally untrue.
"Huh?"
"You are consistently inconsistent," he adds.

I smiled from ear to ear.
Touche'.
Indeed I am.
God I love you!

THAT is the straight up truth!!

I commit to working out 3 days a week at least, and fail.
I commit to not cheating on smoking, and fail.
I promise to not lose my temper, and fail.
I commit to the, "Read the Bible in a Year," plan and well, I'm now behind by two and a half weeks!

Truly, I don't want to be a reed, being blown back and forth by the waves.
I don't want to be a double minded woman, unstable in all of my ways.
I don't.

I'm aware there are much stronger, better examples of Christians than myself for sure.
People who actually lead by example.
I don't run into them much, 'cause they're usually on the high road, while I am out hiding behind the giant, metal sanitation dumpster, trying to sneak a puff or two before I become completely unglued.

Soooooo....knowing that we are to confess our sins to one another so that we can be healed and all, I heard the prayer line shout out and jumped up from my seat today as if Bob Barker himself had yelled, "Come on down!"

It's been a really, really crazy week and I needed it.
Desperately.

The scene unfolded like this;
"How can I pray for you today?"
"Well, I've been pretty confused lately and would really like some clarification about well, the direction my life is going, relationships, my family, finances...and I've been smoking a lot again lately because......"

And we're off!
He grips my hand tightly and says, "Repeat after me."
"Okay," I say, pretty sure that we are going to thank God for his awesome faithfulness and for a stronger trust in his purposes during these, oh so, trying times, but no.

Not so much.

"Father, I ask you into my heart..."
Ummm? "I'm sorry, but..."
"Repeat after me," he says kind of bossy like.
Huh? Okay.
"Father, I ask you into my heart...."

I try to jump in, "But....but, I already have him in my heart...I don't need a salvation prayer...."

He squeezed my hand harder.
"I confess to you that I am a sinner."
Oh gosh seriously?
For the love of God, he already knows this.
I tell him every day.

So again I try to explain, "I'm sorry. Perhaps you misunderstood. I really don't need to say a prayer for salvation. I am saved. I have Jesus in my heart...I'm just needing prayer for....."

Ignoring me, he continues on, squeezing my hand in an increasingly firm manner.
"Lord, help me to live my life in a way that honors you....."

Okay, maybe he got me on that one.
Sweet Jesus!

I don't even remember how it ended but he pressed on my forehead, and I think he touched on obedience and deliverance as well by the time it was all said and done.

Now, I'm not being disrespectful, but if I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna do it on my own...not because someone pushed with their thumb, super hard on my forehead in hopes of knocking me to the ground, or even as just a sweet attempt to force some supernatural wisdom on me. It was like, "Gettttt thisss in yourrrrr headdd, girl!"

I just remember thinking to myself on the way back to my seat, "Benny Hinn called and he wants his technique back." :)
And finally, I sat down feeling a little dumbfounded.
And a little scolded.
And a little like I'd just gotten off the phone with a telemarketer who kept returning to the script after every objection I made, even when it didn't make sense with what I'd just said in the conversation.

Now don't get me wrong. This church is great and has an awesome pastor and I super appreciated very much his "jacuzzi for Jesus" joke when referring to the new baptistry. That's good stuff!

But I don't really want a scripted answer to prayer.

I think we all want to participate and fellowship with a body that is sensitive to the move and leading of the holy spirit. I think we all want to see the awesome power of the true and living God really being manifested in our lives.

That's where miracles happen!

I'm just a pretty simple girl.
And I love a pretty simple gospel and a pretty rockin' awesome Jesus!
I don't understand a lot of things about the bible but this one thing, I know....
IT'S NOT ABOUT WORKS!
It is by faith that we are saved....

It's about not letting my "do", get in the way of the "WHO"!
'Cause he is faithful!

In Philipians 1:4 it says, "In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now...being confident in this, that he who began a work in you will carry it on to completion, until the day of Jesus Christ."

Your eyes may have glazed over on that, but it says, "be confident in this...he will continue the work he started in you until the day he comes back!"

I'm sorry. But I have not seen him, behold he comes, riding on a cloud, hovering over my apartment complex.
Which means he isn't finished with me yet!!

Yes, I screw up.
Yes, I am sometimes and idiot and say and do stupid things.
But daily, I am seeking and knocking.
Somedays, kicking and screaming, not so much seeking and knocking....but always inwardly wanting to live the life that He has predestined for me before the foundations of the earth!!

"For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith...and it is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast!" Ephesians 2:10

I just stood there in my seat squirming to scream, "I know who I am! I am a child of the most high God!"

Recently, I heard a song on Air One...(love, love, love that station by the way!!) it's called, "Outcast", by Kerrie Roberts.

By definition, an outcast is; 1. Someone who is rejected or cast out, as from home or society...
                                          2. A homeless wanderer, a vagabond
                                          3. Rejected matter, refuse

"I'm not good enough, I'm not what they want...
But let me tell you what...I know who I am..."

God called a bunch of outcasts.
He doesn't call the qualified.
He qualifies those he called.

He called me.
So....Can I spin the big wheel now or what?
'Cause I'd really like to make it the showcase showdown!

Happy Fun Girl: Exorcising Faith When Selling Your Home?

Happy Fun Girl: Exorcising Faith When Selling Your Home?: I was super excited to receive a link from my Uncle Danny today. The title of the article he sent was, "Faith in Real Estate: Using Divi...

Exorcising Faith When Selling Your Home?

I was super excited to receive a link from my Uncle Danny today.
The title of the article he sent was, "Faith in Real Estate: Using Divine Intervention to Sell Homes."

That is to say, I was excited until I realized the article was about the effectiveness of burying a St. Joseph statue in the yard, in order to expedite the sale of your home.

Good grief!
I know many people who swear by it.
But, I've tried it.
And it only made me swear.

Seriously.
I had a house to sell, and a friend, thank you Julie, called me one day and said, "I've been thinking about the house on Lee St. and you really need to bury a St. Joseph in that yard. It works!"

And though I thought it might be infringing on the whole "no idols before me" thing, I was desperate.

So....I did what I do when God doesn't move when I want him to.....I took the matter into my own hands.
I jumped on the internet and ordered a three pack, just in case it really did work.
There were other listings I needed to sell as well.

Honestly, I had hoped for something a little more holy when they arrived in the mail.
But then again, I thought to myself, "What do you expect for $4.00 a saint?"

Very, very carefully I followed the directions.
Or did I?

They were fairly specific and I don't remember what they were exactly but it was something like, "place the saint 6" in the ground on the northeast corner of the house," and blah, blah, blah....

Generally, I do read directions.
Much better than I follow them anyway.
So....I buried the blessed St. Joseph in the yard of the house that wasn't exactly the house that Jack built but more like a giant albatross around my neck.

And I prayed.
Most of the time I pray with buyers and sellers anyway.

In fact, I've been accused of "using God" to sell real estate.
As if God would actually allow me to "use" him for anything.

And truthfully I do.
We are told after all, "commit your plans unto the Lord and you will have good success."
Something like that anyway.
He wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. Relationships, family, finances, business...etc...

Where was I again?
Oh yeah...I prayed.

But this time, I needed to use a Catholic prayer.
So, digging into my past and reaching into the bag of religious goodies, I pulled out a, "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee..."

Umpteen months later, I wondered if I shouldn't have gone with the Act of Contrition, "Oh my God, I am heartily sorry, for having offended thee....and I detest all my sins...."

Much more suited to the situation.

After a few years of it still sitting on the market, I told my wise and sometimes, only occasionally 'cause I'm paranoid, trusted 'friend'..... "I think the house on Lee St. is under a curse because of that statue!"
"So dig it up."

"Seriously. I do. Or maybe I didn't do it right."
"Maybe I was supposed to bury him upside down and facing south?"
"Or was it right side up facing east?"

He laughed at me.
"I think I must have done it wrong."

I'm always sure I've done it wrong.
"So let's go dig it up."

Needless to say, in my life, nothing is hardly ever what or where I think it should be, and apparently, St. Joseph, much like Jesus, rose from the dead and walked off...or maybe he marched?

Oh when the saints.....

Or maybe a digging dog got him?

'Cause we dug here.
And there.
And here.
And there.

Three different times I drove over with a shovel to try and find the missing saint.
But I could not.

And I guess God was too busy with having the world in his hands, that he couldn't possibly show up and help me hold a shovel for more of my hole digging.

Three years later and massively in debt for a decision I made solely based on fear, the house finally sold.

Divine intervention?
For sure!

I could tell amazing and unbelievable stories about how many times God came through with some serious divine intervention and got things done for me!

I was a little surprised to read as the article goes on, that a relocation company actually paid $1500.00 for a two hour exorcism.

I've never heard of such a thing and I've been in real estate for 22 years!
Pretty spooky scam they've got going if you ask me.

The word says, "Resist the enemy and he will flee...."
And talk is cheap.
In fact, it's FREE!!!

Now then, if we're rolling out the welcome mat and inviting him in the front door....
That's what's really gonna cost us.
Then just sit back and get ready to reeaaallly watch some heads spin!

I choose just plain old fashioned faith.

This weekend, I think I'll just bake some cookies, put out my OPEN HOUSE sign at 7623 MISSION LEDGE, and wait for God to show up and make himself at home!