Happy Fun Girl: Family Guy: The Bird is the Word

Happy Fun Girl: Family Guy: The Bird is the Word:                                                                              (photo courtesy of fimfiction.com)  Give me! Give me! Give...

Family Guy: The Bird is the Word

                                                                             (photo courtesy of fimfiction.com)

 Give me! Give me! Give me!

Give me Peace.

One of my favorite movie scenes ever is in "The Apostle".
Robert Duvall is upstairs in his room yelling at God at the top of his lungs, even waking the neighbors!
Sometimes I do that.
"I've always called you Jesus. You've always called me Sunny. Tell me what to do, Lord!"

When things happen that don't make sense and I don't know which way to go...sometimes I yell.
Most times I pray.
The way I pray, would probably not fly in seminary school, but mostly, I just talk to God.


God you ARE good!

Thank you that you are faithful, even when I am not.
Thank you for your never failing love.
Thank you that you are my strongtower!
Thank you that you are my deliverer!


Whether I'm driving down the highway, walking the dogs, or even looking at the stars while sneaking a cig on my back porch. I pray.
Holy Spirit go away. :)
Just kidding. He won't go.
No matter how many times I just want to try and get away with something.

When I'm strolling through the grocery store, or sitting in the car wash, I am praying.
Practicing my abiding. 


I need help!
Help me today, Lord. Help me see an opportunity to be your hands and feet.
Help me be aware of the despair that surrounds me.
Help me to not be so self motivated and selfish.

Give me the words to say to brighten someone's day.
Give me a steadfast spirit to keep pressing on when I just feel pressed.
Give me a heart that seeks you and an attitude of obediently loving others.

Often I've heard, "You get, what you give."
I'm trying to make sense of that, because on Monday, without 'giving' it to someone else, a man gave me...the bird.
Two of them.
This was no ordinary bird.

It was the Ultimate Bird!
A very angry, two handed, double flipper through his car windshield at the HEB gas pump.

The visual replay is hilarious.

I need help....and so do they.

Apparently, I went the wrong way.
I gestured with raised eyebrows and the double shoulder shrug as if to say, "I'm sorry. What did I do?"
And then, Famly Guy, with his 8 year old son and wife in the car, started violently pointing at the faded yellow arrows in front of me.
Oh.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know!" I smiled innocently.

And I didn't.
I'm like Ellie Mae Clampett moving to the big city. Who knew?
I wondered why there were lines of 4 or 5 cars in the 6 gas terminals and only one car in my line.
I applauded myself earlier in fact for being the bright one and actually improving the morning traffic flow.

But, Aha! Thanks to Mr. Middle Finger Meltdown guy, I have been made aware of my wrong doings.

I can no longer go that way again.
I've now been made aware of the number one Commandment in the Gas Pump Rule book.
Thou shalt not enter on the flow on the opposite side without great wrath coming upon thee.

There is beauty in ignorance sometimes.
"Oh, I didn't know!" is good the first go around.
But I find that when I know that I know, that I know I'm going the wrong way or doing the wrong thing and do it anyway, I begin to lose my joy.

I lose my sense of walking freely.
And I lose my peace.


A loving father Gives.

He gives good guidance and he gives love.
Great love.

That's why I always call him daddy, and he always calls me "Sunshine."
Thanks.

"Give me love...Give me love...give me peace on earth....Give me light ...Give me life...Keep me free from birth...Give me hope... Help me cope..."     -George Harrison

Happy Fun Girl: Sunday Church and Drinking Games.

Happy Fun Girl: Sunday Church and Drinking Games.:   (photo courtesy of Photo Bucket) I should have titled this blog, "How Probably Not to Think when You're Sitting in Church.&q...

Sunday Church and Drinking Games.

 

(photo courtesy of Photo Bucket)

I should have titled this blog, "How Probably Not to Think when You're Sitting in Church."

This past, post Easter Sunday, I sat in front, well, actually to the side, in the sign language section because we are always running late.
That's where there are usually seats still available for the tardy and hard of hearing.
I probably qualify.
And I hear just fine.
I don't always listen.

But, because Max Lucado is awesome and one of the most respected God guys of our time, (yes, that was a little sucking up over the Mr. Rogers for Jesus comment) I purposely and expectantly listened as he began to talk about John 15.
It's the "I am the vine, you are the branches," bit.
I'm familiar with the allegory Jesus told. I just never noticed the repetitiveness of it.

Max talked about how many times the word "abide" appeared in those verses.
10.
It appears 10 times. At least in the version we were looking at.
And in my head, which isn't always right, the first thought that brought a big, inappropriate smile to my face was,"Oh! It's like a Bob Newhart drinking game kind of story."

Not his intention for sure, but it's where my brain went.
In trying to apply the word to my life, my mind sometimes goes the round about way.
Does anyone else remember playing that game?
Okay, does anyone who wasn't in a bible study on Tuesday nights in a college dorm remember that game?

It was popular back then to get a bunch of us together with a few 6 packs and hang out to watch The Bob Newhart Show.
The rule was that you had to take a drink every time they said, "Hi Bob."
It was a lot.
More than 10.
This is only vaguely relevant to the verse...but repetition can be good.

Personally, sometimes my eyes glaze over and I drift a bit when I read this, but it's super fruitful in how to live this jam-packed life we are all trying to live.
Jam packed. Get it? :)

"1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 ABIDE in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it ABIDE in the vine, neither can you, unless you ABIDE in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever ABIDES in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not ABIDE in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you ABIDE in me, and my words ABIDE in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. ABIDE in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will ABIDE in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and ABIDE in his love." 

The question was asked, "Are you abiding?"

I remembered immediately my secret smoking. After a good few months of not.
And then I remembered the snarky comments I made in last week's blog about the guy at the concert who acted rudely and should have given me a seat when he saw I was about to pass out but.....
Ugh. Sorry.
In fact, I've been wondering all week why I ran my mouth like I did and why I was so particularly annoyed by that guy and his beautiful wife.
And then it came to me. The voice from the Vine Whisperer.
Jealousy.
"I'm not jealous."
"Yes, you are."
Gulp. Don't cry, don't cry.
A deep look at my stinky fruit, revealed a stench.
I was watching as two people held hands and worshipped together.
And I miss that.
I want that.
Why do we get angry? Because we don't get what we want. It's a proverb. I'm not sure where, but it is.

So, sitting in church last Sunday, I thought to myself, "I'm backsliding a bit, yes. But am I abiding?"
What a really great question!
Because you see, I always seem to subsitute the word BEHAVE for ABIDE.
And I don't do that as often as I try.
That's when I need to let go and let God be God and ask him to peel back the thick layers of my own crap and help me see that I am not completely rotten to the core.

This week, one challenging situation after another, I've found myself chanting, "abide...abide...just abide."
Less trying and more abiding is the key.
It gives me a whole lot more peace when I try not to behave, but abide.

As we scurry about our lives, we run around all day running our businesses and trying to be fruitful.
I think most days I bear good fruit or maybe in addition to being rude, I'm also still dilusional.
Some days, I'm aware that my fruit stinks to high heaven!!

I found comfort in the closing last Sunday when I heard something like this, "At the end of the day, the world view of success might be, "Did you close the deal? Did you meet your quota? Did you offer kind and gentle words to your children? Were you sweet and honoring to your husband? All of those might be good things...but most importantly, did you abide?"

Hi Bob!
Skip the beer.
Give me that thirst quenching living water any day baby!
Abide. Drink. And repeat.
Abide. Drink. And repeat.

Happy Fun Girl: Winter Jammin and Slammin'

Happy Fun Girl: Winter Jammin and Slammin': I wondered how this Easter could Out-Awesome last year. Air 1 radio always has an Out-Awesome contest....Like, which is more awesome, C...

Winter Jammin and Slammin'

I wondered how this Easter could Out-Awesome last year.
Air 1 radio always has an Out-Awesome contest....Like, which is more awesome, Coffee or Tardis?
I still don't even know what a Tardis is.

Fortunately, it ended up coming quite close. Easter that is.
In 2012 I attended BRCC (Bandera Road Community Church) and they had a portable petting zoo with a baby pig there.

Just a month or so later, "Pig's Big Adventure," would be available on Amazon, West Bow Press and Barnes and Noble....(plug).
But still, it was great encouragement for me to get to snuggle the snout of a real pig shortly before my very first children's book being published.

This year, our Easter activities included a somewhat disturbing game on my mother's front lawn and WinterJam with a gazillion of my favorite bands including Sidewalk Prophets and others...
Let me just tell you...It was jam packed!

We got there two hours early and still had to stand in line.
Out loud I said to my line mates, "When exactly...does that whole 'the last will be first and the first will be last' thing come into play?"

And no, in case you wondered, telling the special pass people that you feel like you might be rockin' some favor will not get you through the doors any quicker.

You have to have a fearless leader willing to force favor.
Like the one who led an entire youth group of 20 plus kids in red to cut in line in front of us.
Awesome.
I'm not always a glowing example of goodness either so I jokingly said, "Really? You're teaching the youth, tomorrow's leaders, today.... to budge in line... Ni-i-i-ice," with a big smile.

The adult leader was extremely offended and barked back at me, "She was holding a spot for us!"
Oh!
I see! I'm sorry.
Try that little manuever when you're knocking on heaven's door buddy.
You budged in line. Just own it dude!

Finally, we got in but every time we tried to enter the arena, the black curtain guards would abruptly pull them shut with great, 'Sorry you can't see the wizard,' power and yell, "There's no more seats!! There's no more seats!!!"

Eventually, we were able to get in and were directed to go up.
Waaaaay up.

Oh my gosh....I can't breathe...I seriously have a fear of heights, my head is spinning I think I'm going to throw up....
Up.

There were two entire rows available on our right, but, another fearless leader was standing with both feet blocking the first chair of each not letting anyone pass with great Alpha male arrogance.
"Nope. You're not getting in here. These are saved," he offered ever so rudely.

Maybe you know the type.
I only explain, so you can feel like you were there. :)

"Yes, Yes I am wearing my super cool khaki shorts to show off that I still have great legs and yes, yes, I was the star football player back in my Bruce Springsteen, Glory Days, so I am going to so totally stand here and strut my super manly self, while holding these seats like a jack&%$, until my twenty seven year old trophy wife and her other hot friends show up, pretending the whole time that I am completely unaware that my giant belly is hanging a good 6 or 7 inches over the front waist band of my Dockers while I treat the rest of you people with uncamouflaged disdain."

Bleck!
Really? So does mine, but still....
Okay, so I wasn't feeling too hot myself and the constant queasiness was making me all the more susceptible to caddyness and calling out others for their stupid bullyish behavior under my breathe.

Trembling with fear from head to tow, I finally was able to take my seat in the very last row, at the very tippy top of the AT & T center.
There would be no standing and worshipping tonight.
There would be no sweat inducing dancing when my beloved Toby Mac came out to sing, "Boomin!"

But wait.
Maybe so? Maybe so?
Because as I silently apologized for mocking SuperStud a few rows below, the holy spirit started working on me and whispering to me....and reminding me.
"Don't look down, honey. Only up."
"Don't even look around. Only up."

When I looked down and around, my head started spinning and I felt a knot of fear and trembling well up in me. Thousands and thousands of people below...just specks of movement from the highest point in the arena....don't puke...don't puke...

But.....When I looked UP at the jet black ceiling and spinning, starry strobe lights....I felt better.
Much better!

Such it is in the Great Rock Concert of Life.
Such a great reminder.
Don't look down. Only up.
Not around. Only up.

Psalm 34:4 NIV says, "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (including my fear of heights that night) Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."

Matthew 17:8 says, "When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus."

I also have to say that when I looked at Matthew West on the big screen....
I saw no one except Jesus.

A total man of God....Radiating and Rocking the power and favor...ushering in the very presence of a mighty God who has saved a seat for all of us.
Talk about Out-Awesome-ing!

I realize that as the contest continues, "Mary's: Walking in on Jesus' Empty Tomb in Real Life," vs. "Me:So Surprised that I Got to see Matthew West Again the Next Morning at Church,"
 she wins hands down...
But it was still a pretty awesome Easter!

'Cause my God IS an awesome God!