Decision 2012...If He Hollers, Make Him Pay...

I dug through a gazillion faded receipts, felt past a broken pair of readers, accidentally dug my fingernail into an uncapped lipstick and finally came up with $1.08 in change.

I was really hoping for some change.

Abruptly, the voice inside the speaker box yelled at me for the second time.
Geez! I heard ya the first time!
I was just unsure of my ability to come up with enough change.

Again...
"Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?"
"I'm sorry. Just a minute please."
Make a decision, make a decision, make a decision...
Spicy McChicken or the McDouble?
Spicy McChicken or the McDouble?

"I'm so sorry. I'm having a stress meltdown and have become unable to make a simple decision and I can't decide between the McChicken or the McDouble!!"

"Take your time," she replied.
Or was it a he?
The box was making that loud, fuzzy feedback noise and either way, I could tell whoever it was really meant..."Hurry up lady, there are people in line behind you."

So, in my head I played a quick game of Eenie Meenie Miny Mo....the tiger version of course.

That's it.

At 45. I have resorted to Eenie Meenie Miny Mo in my decision making.
Thankfully, I didn't actually resort to that for my election vote, not that it mattered much.

It is a proven fact that one of the symptoms of stress overload can be the "inability to make decisions."
It is also a symptom of depression.
Post partum and otherwise.

Most of my life, I have been a pretty quick decision maker.
Notice I said quick, I didn't say good. :D

Until lately.

I also find it funny that as much as I've been sort of a control freak most of my life, I find myself suddenly being hugely attracted to being controlled.
As a single mom who is every minute of every day constantly having to make this decision or that decision, honestly, it gets exhausting.

My brain does not have one of those red reset buttons to push when I've overloaded it.

No one else there to bounce ideas off of or get a more objective..i.e. realistic opinion.
Nope. Just me and that still, small, so super small I can't even hear it, sometimes voice.

So it's weird that as someone who is not a big fan of authority, I am so strangely drawn lately to just being bossed.
It's such a relief to interact with people who can make a dinner reservation, fix your truck, or...maybe, pick a baby name.

Chelsea, my daughter is about 6 weeks away from giving birth to Saydee Grace.
My very first and so super blessed grandchild to be.

It's gotten me thinking about the last time I was at the hospital giving birth to Natalie, my super fresh Freshman.

Her dad, God bless him ;) brought in an entire media stack, four channel mixer, microphones and stereo speakers to plug in and display on my bed side table while he recorded a radio show for the church.

He even wanted to unplug my fluid machine thingy because there were no more outlets.

Really. This stuff happened.
As creative as I like to think I am, I can't make up skits this ridiculous.

Considerately taking off his headphones he commented, "Just tap my shoulder if you need anything."
The inner anger got me through each and every labor pain as I silently thought to myself, "What kind of husband brings a portable radio station into the delivery room?? Are you kidding me?"

Surprisingly, several hours and a produced show later, we welcomed "Nathaniel," into the world.
With a vagina.
.
Maybe that's why Natalie is so fond of using that word all the time.
She just loves it.
To get on my nerves, she chants for fun, "Vagina. Vagina. Vagina."

Because there was no penis, boy oh boy did we have a dilemma then.
A decision would need to be made.
What would we name the unexpected beautiful baby girl?

Galen, not a fan of making a decision...any decision at all...proceeded to upset the entire maternity floor crew.
"Mr. Hoffman...We need a name."
"I don't know."

So there she sat in the nursery..Little Baby No Name.
Baby Hoffman.
Like some kind of orphan child.
"Mr. Hoffman...We need a name."
"Stop pressuring me!!!!"

After numerous pleas, to please give the child a name so the nurses could record it on her birth record, he began to get very agitated.
And loud.

I was still reeling from the 'live' radio show broadcast and the hours of labor and child birth giving.
"Please can't we just name her Natalie? It's like a form of Nathaniel. And I love Natalie Merchant!"

We left the hospital being chased by nurses and him yelling, "I'll give you a name when I have an F-ing name."
They called the house repeatedly for two days.

Finally, after much phone slamming, verbal outbursts and ranting, a decision was made.
Natalie Jane Hoffman.

Not all decisions are this complicated.
But each and every one we make has consequences.

November 6th... a decision was made.

And though we may not all agree with each other, we can still move forward as believers in the United States of America.

God is still in control.
He loves every single one of us.

United, we can make a decision to be peace makers.
United, we can make a decision to pray every day for Godly direction for our leaders and this great country.
United, we can make a decision to love our families and our neighbors as ourselves.

The Message says, "Our firm Decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could be included in his life, a resurrection life, a better life than people ever lived on their own."

I want a better life.
Not just for myself, but for my children and my grand children.
Make a decision for Christ.

Though you may have questions, "It is by Faith that we are Saved...not through works, but it is a gift from God...so that no man can boast."
It is a decision to live by faith and not by sight.

It is also the most important, life "change" decision that we can ever make.

And in my head I will be chanting myself, "My mother told me to choose the very best one and you are not "it". 

Oh. And I got the McDouble.