Let go of the bear! I gotta pee!

I was sooo excited to hear this week that John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John are reuniting for a benefit album titled, "This Christmas." 

Grease is one of my absolute all time favorite movies, and also one of the first I was allowed to see without parental supervision!

After the "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee..." slow and depressing melody at the drag race, I was totally surprised and shocked when Sandy came out strutting her stuff with kinked up hair, black leather pants and 

some seriously super red lipstick.

Now that I think about it, she kind of made smoking look cool for a minute!?!

Maybe subliminally, I refuse to quit entirely because I am still waiting for Danny to show up all squared away in his letterman's sweater and sexy black t-shirt so we can rock, "We go to together..." in the Shake Shack.

In reality, I'm the "Brusha, brusha, brusha..." girl.

But seriously, they do go together.

A perfect mix and match.

Like Rose and Jack in "The Titanic."

Sort of like Marie was a little bit country and Donnie was a little bit rock and roll.

Although, they were related, so that's not exactly the same thing.

We long for companionship.

I overheard a woman ask her friend to, "Come with me," to the restroom.

That was mandatory behavior at ages 12-25...but seriously? She was at least 40.

I refrained from commenting, "Honey, at some point, ya just gotta go it alone."

Or do you?

Not if you are a tiny chihuahua mix named "Pepe", I think it was.

"Pepe" came running as fast as he could down the sidewalk of my apartment with his owner lagging behind.

I could not help but notice that the dog was carrying a gigantic stuffed teddy bear in his mouth.

"Oh my gosh! That is soooo cute! I can't believe that tiny dog can carry such a big bear."

"He always does. Ever since he was a puppy. It's his teetee bear."

My eyes grew wide.

My "Mr. Riley" dog's eyes grew wider.

He looked at "Pepe" then at me, then back at "Pepe."

"What do you mean, his teetee bear?"

"Ever since he was little, when he wants to go outside to go potty, he grabs his bear."

"Seriously?"

Then I watched amazed and dumbfounded as "Pepe" found a spot in the grass, tossed the bear over near the bushes with a simple shake of his head, then proceeded to lift his leg and pee all over the yellow lantana plant.

When he was done, pepe-ing, he retrieved the bear and started to walk smartly back down the sidewalk.

Mr. Riley looked at me like he had just seen the stupidest thing he's ever seen in his 7 dog years.

He actually had a look on his face like, "Are you kidding me?"

If he could talk, he would say something that apparently is not allowed to be said anymore because it's offensive. 

"That is so _ _ _!"

Hangman anyone? lol!

It used to mean happy.

Sometimes you just need someone to walk along the road with you.

Quality companionship makes people happy.

In the very first book, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion."

Later, in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 of The Message it says, "It's better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. If one falls down, (or gets tossed in a bush, I guess) the other helps."

I kind of think I need my own teetee bear!

Reading 1 Corinthians chapter 7 tells me though that this single life is supposed to be simpler in many ways.

Then it goes on again and talks about when things are really mixed up.

Oh wow.

In the midst of the look up, I just landed on the scripture that was indeed my basis for the divorce in 1998.

15-16.."On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go."

It's been "Let it Go" theme season around here.

Reading on, "You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never, know wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God."

Yeah? Mmmhh....

Really not the case here Big G.

.

Nearly 14 years after the final day, which was ironically the same as our anniversary, I humbly flew to Wisconsin.

It was just this past January and I had come to understand some things and wanted to apologize for my wrong doings.

Also because I was psychotically convinced we were suppose to work it out.

The final straw hit me when I suggested prayer and was answered with a very loud and angry, "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I ASKED YOU TO PRAY TO SATAN WITH ME?"

I was on a plane back to Texas the next morning.  

You never know what to expect from an ex I guess. Even if you are old friends.

The whole scene has had me super saddened in my spirit over the last several months.

It's the recognition of reality and loss.

Lost love. Lost dreams. Broken promises.

Much like Rose saying, "I'll never let go, Jack...I'll never let go."

But she does.

You never know how hard it is to let go.

Especially when you're still holding on.

I can feel my grip is slipping.

Finally.