Happy Fun Girl: God is my Garmin

Happy Fun Girl: God is my Garmin: Sometimes I love getting lost. Just hitting the open road and venturing out to see new sights helps me get insight. There are other times w...

Happy Fun Girl: Love Shack

Happy Fun Girl: Love Shack: "The Love Shack is a little old place where…we can get together...."

There are a lot of people I’d love to get together with.
Actually,...

Little Miss Goody, Goody...

When I was in junior high, I had a guy friend who liked to call me, "Little Miss Goody Two Shoes."

I prefer to be called Little Miss Sunshine but, whatever.

I think I called him Burn-Out.

I apologize, *cough* Jeff Wiggins!
He also burned the butt of my brand new brown corduroy pants with a small blow torch during science class in the 8th grade.

Just because you forgive, doesn't mean you forget.


Well, unless you're a burn-out.
Ha!

Admittedly, I am a good deed do-er.

Not so much for the recognition, but because it just feels so good to do nice things for other people!!

The cynical crowd would say I do these things for my own self-gratification.
It reminds me of that "Friends" episode.

The one where Phoebe hates PBS.

(In case you haven't seen it, Phoebe selfish-lessly has babies for her brother and his wife.)

"Self-less good deeds don't exist!" insists Joey.
"It made you feel good, so that makes you selfish. There are no un-selfish good deeds. Sorry!"


Phoebe replies that there are "totally good deeds that are self-less."
And then goes about trying to find one...but Oh! That's hard.
Because doing some thing good for others, ALWAYS makes you feel good!

Or does it?


One of my personal favorite things to say is, "No good deed goes unpunished!"

Have you noticed that?

You try to do something nice for someone and then you get.....THe ZiNgER!


It goes something like this.

"I got you a cup of coffee."

"Is it a double soy latte two shot espresso?" she says back.


"Umm?? I'm sorry. It's just a cup of coffee."


Now I feel bad.
I have now become.....a Beast of Burden!!

"I brought you packets of cream and sugar."

Then comes the eye roll.

An eye roll? For real?

But, but, the word says "I am blessed to be a blessing!"
No, no I'm not. :)
Not usually anyway.

After baking bread for an acquaintance, "I only eat gluten free."

Gluten free? I was confused.

There's no glue in it? Two Googled words later, I realize.....I really am quite an idiot.

A few months ago I tried to help a client/friend who was stranded on the side of the road about 7 miles outside of town.

"Can you come pick me up?"

"Sure!"

I went 15 miles out the wrong highway, and then....ran out of gas.

Yes, This this really is my life. Enjoy every chapter.


Speaking of enjoying things, I found a real nugget of inspiration the other day in John, Chapter 10, verse 32. Seriously, if you are ever inclined to be a little sassy or sarcastic, you will appreciate the humor in this passage.

"At my father's direction, I have done many good works...For which one are you going to stone me?"

Bahahaha!!! Do you know who said this? JESUS!!! :)

Let's read it again. "At my father's direction, I have done many good (deeds), which one are you going to stone me for?"

Okay, one day...He and I will totally high five in heaven over that one!

I just can't describe how much that amuses me and gives me joy!
God gets me!

He understands my heart when I smile and say,
"Truly, no good deed goes unpunished!!"

Or unnoticed.
"And the good deeds done in secret, will someday come to light.

Shine on baby! Shine on!!

God is my Garmin

Sometimes I love getting lost.
Just hitting the open road and venturing out to see new sights helps me get insight.

There are other times when I hate getting lost.

Sometimes, I just want to hurry up and get where I'm going already!
Without making a bunch of wrong turns and hitting potholes every 5 miles.

The word says, "man makes his plans, but God directs his steps."
I've cried out to God repeatedly and said things like, "Please Lord, please, give me direction on what you want me to do and where you want me to go."

One time I heard this curt response, "You keep asking me for direction and what you need is a whole lotta correction."

:)

I love it when people are direct.
I understand direct.
I just don't always follow direct-ions so well.

That's why I've decided that I should probably invest in a Garmin.
I need to know where I'm going.

Wanting to increase my knowledge on the many products available, I began my research.
Yes, I Googled it.

Turns out, there are a lot of different ways that tell you how to get somewhere.

I just need to know The Way.

One of the models I previewed gives you the time, date, coordinates and elevation.
It will accurately display your current location...within 10 feet.
That's good because sometimes I feel like I need a big circle sticker on my head that says,
"You are Here!"

This tiny box will light up with a legible map display, day or night and even give you the cycles of the moon. Beautiful!

I'm a moonchild, that will come in handy because I can get lost at both dark or dawn.

Oh! And it floats...
Hope floats!

I'm not sure why it would need to float, I guess it's portable so you could take it on a boat.
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip."

Gilligan needed a Garmin!

Jonah needed a Garmin!

"Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord."

Jonah was eventually forced to take the turn-around.

God created each of us for a purpose and he knows which way we should go.

Don't we all want to move in the right direction? Don't we all want to live our lives to be meaningful and "make a difference" oriented?

I do.

Sometimes the road less traveled is very windy.
I have to remember to pay attention to the road signs.

Stop!

Caution.

U-Turn.

Slippery when wet.

Okay, not that one.
But you get my drift.

Jesus said, "Follow me."
"I am the way."

Psalm 119:58 says, "With all my heart I want your blessings. Be merciful as you promised. I pondered the direction of my life, and I turned to follow your laws."

Yield!

I've decided that maybe the Garmin Nuvi 255W is the one for me.

The description says it "leads the way with voice-prompted, turn by turn directions and with it's widescreen display....you'll always get the big picture."

I think I'd like that.

The Duct Tape Doctrine

Duct tape is absolutely a single girl's best friend!

Personally, I've used duct tape to secure the sole of my boot in place and repair torn book covers.

I have used it to secure handles to things like pots & pans, vacuums, brooms, hairbrushes and even to hold up the hem of a skirt!

It's come in handy when I couldn't afford a plumber and needed to stop a leak and also to assist in attaching a bumper to the front of my vehicle.

I've taped cardboard over a window that won't roll up in the pouring rain.

I may have even secured an unruly, temper tantrum throwing 4 year-old to a chair once. I can't remember if that really happened or it was some weird dream...she keeps insisting it happened.

Nice.
I've never claimed to have been jilted out of a Parent of the Year Award.

My mother often tells me that I talk too much and that I really need to learn when to shut my mouth.

And even though as a child I always got good grades, in the comment section of my report card the teachers usually felt compelled to write things like, "While Tina is a joy to have in class, sometimes, she talks too much."

My first grade teacher, Mrs. Gadke wrote it like it was a bad thing, something that my mother should definitely do something about..I think she went so far as to say "Tina can be very disruptive in class with her excessive talking."

Really? Really? Now, why'd ya have to go and put it like that?

Geez. I always raise my hand! I'm a participator. I like to talk. I like to discuss and I like to share.

Here I am now nearly middle age, and apparently still do not have down the elementary teachings of that basic concept.

I think it's a conspiracy.

This past week, my pastor advised us that sometimes we just need to imagine covering our mouths with duct tape.

Having a paranoid personality like I do, this is what I heard, "Tina...Shut your mouth!"

Last year I spent a lot of time with a guy friend, you know, one of those godly type of guys...and it sometimes nearly drove me "crazy."

I would complain that he isn't sharey enough and after he was done politely defending himself with, "If I were any more chatty.....I'd be a girl!" :)

He would go all scriptural on me and explain it in terms I could easily understand.

The word says that, "talking too much leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut."

I'm thinking, "Have you been talking to my mother?"

"Or Mrs. Gadke perhaps?"

Geez Louise. That's Proverbs 19:20 by the way.

And then there are a gazillion other verses that address how we should watch what we say.

Out of your mouth comes blessings and curses. Don't let this be so.

Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.

It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.

Those who control their tongue will have a long life but opening your mouth can ruin everything.

Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.

The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

Oh my gosh! These talking Proverbs are never ending!

Apparently, what we say is pretty important to God.

I will take this moment right now to repent of every idle word and sarcastic remark I've made and I will try and do better to think before I speak.

My mom used to say, "If you don't have something nice to say, just don't say anything at all!"

This, from the woman who called me Bongo Lips. :)

It's fine. I'm over it.

I might be a talker, but I'm also a forgiver.

And besides, people pay big bucks to have lips like these.

Love ya, mom.

We've all heard the childhood chant, "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me." That's ridiculous! Of course words hurt.

They can linger in your mind and be very destructive if not battled with the truth.

Our mind and our mouth is a battlefield.

Ironically, Duct Tape was originally invented in 1942 during World War II. It was used as a sealing tape on ammunition cases. Mmmhh? Interesting.

In 1970, NASA astronauts used it as an emergency repair on Apollo 13 to work on the command module.

So, in my efforts to be more Christ like, a little less self-centered, and with the holy spirit as my sass meter....I will try harder to command my mouth!

Without the extreme use of duct tape!!

Unseal my lips Lord, that my mouth,

(big and chatty as it is)

may praise you! Psalm 51:15

Life is Sweet

I grew up in Iowa and have always loved the change of seasons.

Most of all, I loved summer.
I still do. I love corn on the cob, watermelon and ice cream.
You scream, I scream…we all scream for ice cream!
Lately, I just feel like screaming but…that’s not really the point.

I've actually screamed for ice cream once and woke up yesterday remembering just how awesome that was.

I have lived on the uncertainty of real estate commissions for nearly two decades and somehow, someway, God always provides.

Several years ago, my friends David and Sandy and their children came to spend the night with us in San Antonio. We were going to watch Left Behind and I loaded up the kids (all under the age of 9) and went to HEB Central Market. We stocked up on typical movie watching, non-healthy , kind of kid food…popcorn, soda, chips, etc…

Standing in the long line at the counter, I was suddenly overcome with a strong desire for some vanilla ice cream. I mapped it all out in my head. How much effort was it actually going to take to get five kids all the way to the frozen food section and back?

I considered the challenge course and decided to do without.
Several times throughout the night though, I’d inwardly pine, “Uuughhh! I really did want that ice cream. I should have gone to the back to get it!”

The next morning we rushed around. The Hanschecks were heading back to Corpus and I was running late for church on the other side of town.

Usually, very generous with my giving and tithing, this time, for whatever reason, I debated in my head the whole way over and began to doubt God would come through for me.

There was a $250 utility bill due and my tithe was $250. Or, the other way around, since we’re told to give of our first fruits.

I believe what the word says about money and I thought about it all the way to church that morning. Was I really contemplating stealing from God? Regular church goers know that in Malachi it says, “Will a man rob God? Yet you rob and defraud Me. But you ask ‘How are we robbing you?’”

“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse, your whole nation, because you are robbing me.” Ouch.

I can hear people saying, “The church is a business and they just want my money.”

This is the part that will start to bore you if you’re not already a believer. But try to hang in there with me cause it’s gonna get good!!

The word says, “Bring the whole tithe (the whole 10th of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe. Then all the nations will call you happy and blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty. Put me to the test he says. Test me in this!!! I’m not sure but I think it’s the only time he ever says to test him.

You can me test me, but only if you are grading on a curve and it’s not in math.
Okay, or science, or history.

Well by the time I get there I have somehow let the enemy in my mind convince me that because of my lack of obedience in other areas, this time, it wouldn’t work. God was in fact NOT going to have my back like he faithfully had so many times in the past.

I parked the car, and slipped $40.00 into my bible. Walking in my typical 5 minutes late, Pastor Pat Mulholland is giving his sermon, and I’m trying to slide in on the down low when just as I go to take my seat he yells, “GOD ROBBER!”

With a total deer in the headlights, “Oh my gosh I can’t get away with anything!!!”
I stand up, sigh heavily and say, “Alright already!” and slink back out to the car to get the rest of my money.

I mean His money.

I’m holding it tight in my hands while he goes on, “Now examine your motives here beloved. Ya don’t give to get.”
I’m not giving to get.
“Ya give out of joyful obedience.” I’m joyful.

Scared to death and a little fearful, but I trust you will have my back once again. You didn’t give me a spirit of fear Lord..but a sound mind… Sound mind? Okay, that could be a rabbit trail right now and I’m gonna stay focused cause I’m trying to tell a really great story here.

Head bowed and with an appropriately serious, “Yes, Lord I’m not giving to get but I am giving joyfully and with EXPECTANCY because I know that you are an awesome God and I believe that your word is true.”

As the basket came by I took another deep breathe, said “I’m counting on you…seriously. I need you to have my back here.”

Driving home with the girls I felt great peace. Well, not peace so much because I had my friend Marc and Rhonda’s boys with me and everyone was loud and jumping around all over the back seat. But, a sense of security nonetheless.

Taking the Hildebrand exit off of 281 in San Antonio, I ended up behind a stalled BMW.

I got out, walked up to the window and approached the woman at the wheel. “Do you need me to call someone for you?”
I ask in my cheery, little Miss Sunshine voice. She looked me up and down with pretty much what I perceived as total contempt. Here she was….the perfect Alamo Heights chick with her perfect hair, perfect make up, perfectly clean car and a perfect superior attitude.

“I’m waiting on Mr. Rescue,” she answers with nothing short of a snooty tone. Ha! I laugh, “I’m waiting on my own Mr. Rescue if ya know what I mean!” as I smile and point to the sky. She made a face and then rolled her eyes at me.

I got back in the car and pulled around to catch the next light change. Suddenly, there was a loud rapping on the passenger window. I hit the electric window and she sticks her face in and says, “I have ice cream in my trunk and it’s going to hell. Do you want it?”

“Um? Sure.” It didn’t really hit me until she came back to the car and handed me a gallon of vanilla ice cream.

As we made the exchange, I felt a jolt through my body and heard the holy spirit whisper, “See? I’ve got your back baby.”

OH MY GOSH! Seriously??? He truly does care about the smallest little details of our lives! I looked up at the sky and said, “Oh, My GOD!!!! YOU, are sooo totally the Man!!”

Driving the rest of the way home and smiling from ear to ear I thought about what had just happened and realized even more how unbelievably amazing God really is. You see, if I had gone back and gotten the ice cream the night before, quite honestly I would have bought the cheap HEB brand.

But, when God gives you something, he gives the best. He gave me Breyers real vanilla bean!!

Wow! Can you imagine having someone hand you a gallon of ice cream on an off ramp exit? A few days later, my ex-husband came back to San Antonio for the first time since the divorce and took the girls and I out for pizza.

When we got back to the house, I walked into the kitchen to put away the leftovers and noticed an envelope on the stove with the words, “Jesus loves you.” I hurried to open it up and found $250.00 inside! Just one day away from a disconnect on my utilities, I was praising God all over the place, when my then, 8 year old Chelsea says, “I bet it’s from God!”

“Well, I know it’s from God, but via who?” “It’s from God,” she insisted. “Really, Chelsea? You think that God in all his glory, came down from heaven, walked past the laundry sitting on the couch and put this on the stove….Himself?”

“I know he did.” “How?”
“He gets tons of those kind of envelopes on Sundays.”
Bahahahaha! That right there is the faith of a child!

That is the kind of faith I want to keep with me always and forever as long as I live. I can just picture God sitting in heaven with his big gigantic gold letter opener going, “Well, let’s see what I got today!”

His ways are higher than our ways. It doesn’t make sense and when it's all coming apart around us, we just have to hang on for the ride and keep trusting that He is faithful.

In times like these, it even sounds a little foolish, but I still believe.
And life IS sweet!

Doormats and Welcome Mats

I love the song "3 am" by Matchbox 20.

I especially like the line that says, “She thinks that happiness is the mat that sits on her doorway.”

I get that.There’s a mat on my backdoor that says, “We have a vacuum, we’ve found God and we gave at the office.”

That cracked me up when I bought it years ago and it does in fact, still bring me happiness.In a simple, sort of sarcastic way.

Ya have to track with me here for a minute because when I hear the song, I think of the mat, and when I think of the mat I think of the man that Jesus healed down by the water.

You know, the paralyzed one that he told, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”The guy had been an invalid for like 38 years!Jesus asked him, “Do you want to get well?”Mmmhh??Well now isn’t that the $64,000 question.Huh. I’m 44. Do I?

I start to think about the mat, which leads to thinking about me and then takes me back to thinking again about…Jesus.

He healed that man right there on the spot.The man was still making excuses but he healed him.

It says, When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”And the man replied, “Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Talk about a doormat!

You would think that after that many years he could muster up enough courage and discipline to at least kind of inchworm his way in. Move maybe just a centimeter a day to eventually end up where he intended to be.

But no. And I get that too.

I could use a healing.I could use some deliverance.
So in my best efforts to have a sincere and honest conversation with my loving God, I say, “Oh,Yes! That’s what I need Lord. I need healed from whatever it is that holds me back. I need delivered. I do want to get well.”

Before I even get a chance to finish my list of needs, I hear his wise whisper.“Honey, I’ve delivered you more times than UPS & FEDEX put together. Now pick up your so-called “welcome” mat and walk already.”

Yikes!

And since we are being so honest now…It should be said that, I don’t really have a vacuum cleaner…I’ve definitely found God…and I really did give at the office.

I guess I better get walkin'!!

I love Mr. Green Jeans!!

The Thing Is…

I totally believe that God desires good things for his children. I believe that he truly cares about the smallest details of our lives.

A few weeks ago I went in to visit Lisa at her fabulous boutique just off the square called, “The Thing Is”….I immediately honed in on an awesome pair of pants…just the kind I had been saying I wanted!

Olive Green. African orphan village, mission type pants.

Okay, maybe just mowing the lawn or going to Super S to buy groceries pants. But still.

They were exactly what I wanted!

“Those are Not Your Daughters Jeans,” Lisa said.

Smartly I replied, “Really? You know those girls. ALL of my stuff eventually becomes my daughters’!”

“Ha! That’s the name of them. They’re awesome. You should try a pair on.”

I looked at the price tag.

$89.00.

Seriously? $89.00?

I made a scrunched up nose face.

“Yeah girl, I’m not on an $89.00 pair of pants budget right now.”

“Just try ‘em on! For fun!”

Mary Eckert chimed in, “Yes! We’re just having fun.”

I thought about it for a minute, glanced down at my own wardrobe to see how much of an effort it was going to be to swap out clothes cause I also fell in love with this amazing angel wing shirt that some cool guy over in San Marcos designed.

“Okay, I will.”

5 minutes later I walked out of the bathroom/dressing room feeling like I needed to hit the runway and revolutionize every woman’s closet…

“Wow! These are amazing! Are you kidding me? I don’t want to take them off….EVER!!”

“These are like the most rockin pair of mom pants in the whole world!”

“I told you, you’d love them!”

$89.00? I thought to myself.

She saw the connect.

“We have layaway.”

That made me smirk.

“Really? Okay, I’ll think about it.”

And I did.

Every night for the last three weeks I’d layaway, in bed each night and think about how great those pants felt.

But aaaaghh…Natalie, my youngest & shining star of her grade, had also fallen in love with a dress for…$89.00.

As I think about it, I’m going to have to suggest to Lisa that she call her store, “The Thing Is…For $89.00”!

Teasing. She has stuff cheaper than that.

It’s a cool store, check it out.

Still not on that kind of a budget but really, really wanting to give her an end of the school year reward for the awesome girl that she is, I decide that I am going to go back later and get her that dress!

That’s how parents are.

It’s in the bible. They give good gifts to their kids.

They don’t give their children a snake if they ask for a fish.

And she didn’t want a fish…She just wanted a dress.

Mentally counting the cash in my head, I knew I would not be purchasing my very much wanted ophanage mission garb.

But God is good...and gracious and kind to me.

A few days later, Nat and I stopped into the Community Thrift Store to find her costume for Tom Sawyer Days.

There on the summer pants rack, were a perfect pair of olive green capris….almost just like the ones across the street.

Not Your Daughters Jeans, a Target brand I think, but super soft just like the ones I fell in love with.

They were a little baggier in the legs but….$3.00!

I squealed with excitement at God’s provision!!

Thank YOU! Mr. Green Jeans!!

$3.00!!

Thank you very much!!

Way to go God! It’s the simple things.

It really is. I am easily pleased (well, according to most anyway ;) and easily amused.

I also laugh too loudly in public and at totally inappropriate times.

That's my child-likeness, some call it childish.

:P

He gives me joy that’s unspeakable….that’s how I feel lately when I un- expectantly get a free bottle of hairspray, a cup of coffee, car repair service, the vacuum cleaner I’ve been needing, corn on the cob, squash, zucchini, and a long list of other ways that he has provided during this, umm…..transitional time.

I surprised Natalie with her dress and she was super excited to wear it on the plane to Wisconsin to see her dad.

That’s Nat Cat. She travels classy.

On that trip, she apparently caught 68 earthworms with a rigged up ground wire extension cord.

I’m still not sure that’s right, but she reported having a great time with her dad.

Which brings me back to giving good gifts to our children.

God is a good and loving father, who is always faithful, and He knows that I don’t really like snakes but I do love salmon!

And olive green African mission capris.

Love Shack

"The Love Shack is a little old place where…we can get together...."

There are a lot of people I’d love to get together with.
Actually, I feel the need to just try and hold it together at this point.
It's like I've been running to Tarshish, when I know I’ve been called to go to Ninevah.
The gist of that bible story is going one way, when you are told to go another.
I’ve lived in a permissive will perhaps but certainly not God’s perfect will.
The talents he’s given me I have buried.
Fear of failure and not even knowing how to begin to do what I think I’m supposed to do and not thinking I was legit enough has all held me captive to my hearts’ desires and His call on my life.

I do believe that He will finish the good work that He started in me and His way will come to be.
It’s easy to say I want to write, I want to encourage people through books and songs and tell the stories of all of the amazing things God has done for me, but that doesn’t really put food on the table for three kids.

And so for years, I let logic trump faith.
For a long, long time, I have felt not “good enough” to participate in Kingdom Things.
I shudder at how much time I have wasted.

I left a listing appointment several years ago with great excitement.
“Yayy!! What a great house!”
The owners had basically redone the entire home and, in no way did it resemble the original place that was in much, much needed repair.

“I’m totally gonna to sell this one…it’s absolutely beautiful!” I say to myself.
“It’s a shack.” I immediately hear.
“Get behind me Satan!” I rebut.
“It’s a shack.”
“No. It’s not. It’s a beautiful home with an open plan, ceramic tile floors, rounded corners, 3 fireplaces and a gourmet kitchen!” I argue back.
“It’s a shack.”
Yikes.
I know that voice.
“Oh. My bad. Hello, Lord. I’ll bite. Why is it a shack?”
“You are trying in your own strength to build treasures on this earth. I have a plan and a purpose for you. My ways are higher than your ways."

Grin. Busted.

"You must pray and obey.”
Ugh. He’s always playing the obedience card on me.
Then He spoke to me in my lingo, real estate jargon...and I will never forget it.

He said, “Tina, I am giving you the listing on every mansion I have heaven!! Who ya gonna sell them to?”
Wow.
Gulp.

As a matter of fact, there’s a brand new one that just came on the market.

I mean LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!

It’s a house on a hill, with a strong foundation and the entry road is paved with streets of gold.
The sign says…..stay away fools, cause Love Rules, at the Love Shack.

Yeah it does. And that's why I'm moving in another direction.
Email or call me and I’ll tell ya how to get there :)
It's a One Way road with a home warranty!

Now, who wants to buy a house?