Liar, Liar pants on Fire!

I absolutely love Jim Carrey and I am especially fond of the movie, "Liar, Liar." One of my favorite scenes is when Fletcher gets pulled over by the police and unloads his myriad of violations in a manic, ranting manner.

It goes kind of like this:

Officer says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Fletcher responds in classic Carrey character, " Here goes....I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost a hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes at the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeeeeeding!"

Officer responds, "Is that all?"

Remorsefully whining, Fletcher says, "Nooooo. I have unpaid parking tickets." He bites his lip and says, "Be gentle with me."

Then, of course he hits the glove box and the plethora of repeat offenses go falling out all over everywhere.

I get that. Many times I just want to hit the unload button.
Not that I haven't already confessed it all to my heavenly father, time and time again.
But as a believer, I am supposed to be accountable to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

And, I just really want folks to know that I know, that you know.....ya know?

James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

Yes. I've needed healed. But if I can be honest here for minute, "Really? Really?"

'Cause I've been around the church block a few times and I have felt like what James should have written is this, "Confess your sins to one another so that we can judge you immediately, talk behind your back and possibly stone you to death for your many unbelievable transgressions."

Just sayin'.
I know that's not the way it's supposed to be. In the church, we are supposed to "lovingly restore" fellow believers.

Sometimes, I have felt less lovingly restored and more beat with a hammer over the head.

After all, it is "his kindness that leads us to repentance." right?

But admittedly, I have rebelled against what is being taught and justified my actions because I didn't want to hear it. Noone likes to be told that they are living "in sin".

It doesn't feel good.

In hindsight, I'm actually grateful that they let me stick around long enough to help me to heal, instead of kicking me out of the front doors and onto the grassy knoll.

1 Cor. 5:9 talks about it. And I've had it all wrong.

Check it out if you, like me, have always quoted, "judge not, lest you be judged."
Which is usually exactly what we say when someone has the 411 on us and we want to justify.

Although I know it's not the same type of thing I've been talking about, I got a summons for jury duty next week and that's what really got me thinking about the whole "judging" thing.

I don't really want to be in a position of judging another person. (though I'm sure I've done that too.)

"For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:2

That goes along with the whole, "let he without sin, cast the first stone" thing.
And "get the log out of your own eye, before you try to remove a speck from your brothers."

Note to self: Don't be a Log Eye!

Sometimes though I understand and feel very much like Fletcher Reed.

So please, "Be gentle with me." :)

Skip the Panties...Put on your Big Girl Shoes!

Put on your big girl panties and just deal with it!

As little girls, we long to be 'big girls'.

We love to play dress up, create with cosmetics, put on mom's pretty pearl necklace, shiny gown and then complete the whole fancy fashion look with her high heels.

And then we try to walk in them.

We trip, we fall. Ouch!

Not being a super girlie girl, I've never felt comfortable in heels.

Plus, I'm 5'10 (and a half) and was always the tallest one in my class growing up. I hated it.

I was even taller than all of the boys, well, except for Mitch Albright, who spit in my peanut butter sandwich at lunch one day.
Aaahh....Good times, childhood.

The boys loved to make fun of me for being so tall.

Bigfoot. Earthquake. Lurch.

Those were just a few of my given nicknames.

Nice.

You rang?

Anyway, big girls know they don't make super cute shoes in a size 9 or higher.

What the stores do carry for us amazon types are mostly "earthy" flats in some shade of beige.

I'm tired of beige, beige is boring and I find myself wanting to wear pretty Big Girl Shoes.

And though I do long to come up higher, most days, I'd rather just be barefoot.

I also still love my "Jesus Shoes," that is, any kind of no frills sandals that you can throw on, with a moment's notice.

I wrote a kids' song about them, "You can throw your sticks and rocks, as long as I've got my Birkenstocks...I'll be walking in my Jesus shoes." They should call me, it's catchy..

That verse reminds me of the whole, "Sticks and stones may break may bones, but names can never hurt me" chant.

One of the stupidest things I've ever heard, by the way.

Of course name calling hurts.

Much more so than trying to walk in heels.

Which is why I keep my large, oversized feet mostly in sandals.

I also like flip-flops.
This is quite fitting since sometimes, that is what I do best.

Aerosmith would be impressed.

I can, "Walk This Way!"
Then that way. Then this way. Then that way. (Grrr...)

A while ago, a friend bought me the cutest pair of "Big Girl Shoes" with a two inch wedge heel.
And I love them!

Yes, they make me super tall, but when I put them on, I feel like I'm, "on top of the world....looking down on creation :)

 I loved Karen Carpenter!

 Instantly, I believe that I can and really am, more than a conqueror.

And yet very "girlie," all at the same time.

No longer, Lurch, I hear a nicer, new name calling.
God's voice, calling me out.

And....calling me,
"Princess."
"My beloved."
"The apple of my eye."

Those are much better names to be called and the ones I really should be listening to more often.

The wedges are awesome, but lately, I feel like I should probably be getting fitted for combat boots.

Nancy Sinatra sings, "These Boots were Made for Walking," but, today, I don't want to walk anywhere.

I'm struggling with just standing.


Stand Tall....Don't you fall...

It takes a while to learn to walk in heels gracefully, especially if you're clumsy like me.

So, when I happen to stumble, trip...or just flat, fall off my wedges, I have to know that God is there to pick me up, extending a hand of grace.

And helping me to remember that, the first step in walking tall, is simply just getting back up....

Every time you fall.


"Jeremiah, say to the people, 'This is what the LORD says: "When people fall down, don't they get up again? When they discover they're on the wrong road, don't they turn back?" Jeremiah 8:4