Happy Fun Girl: The Walking Dead...Beware of Zombies!

Happy Fun Girl: The Walking Dead...Beware of Zombies!:                                                                                                               (photo courtesy of tomsguid...

The Walking Dead...Beware of Zombies!

                                                                                                              (photo courtesy of tomsguide.com)


I was trying to write but found it absolutely impossible to do so with the gurgling, gargling, wretched zombie noises in the background.
It was a Sunday night.
"The Walking Dead" was on and my 15 year old is hooked.

Personally, I don't understand the widespread fascination with the whole zombie thing.
There was a Zombie parade last year down at Hemisphere Park and hundreds of people dressed up as dead divas come to life, and wandered the streets of San Antonio in all of their bloody "Ghosts Come out at Midnight" splendor.

When I was a teenager we were taken in by the drama of "Footloose" and were shocked and horrified that a town would actually ban dancing.
And every week, we watched the Dukes of Hazard and despised Boss Hog.
The boys talked all week of course about Daisy Dukes short shorts.

And the Farrah Fawcett poster.
But zombies, really?
They're kind of gross.
And on Sunday?

God do I miss Walton Mountain and the wonderful world of Walt Disney!

Not that I wake up every day and live totally alive myself.
Some days I too feel like the walking dead.
But death is not fun.
I've been sort of dead before.

Dead in various sins, selfishness and transgressions, quietly wishing someone would somehow, someway, crush my skull, destroy my brain and put me out of my misery once and for all.

Life and Death.
"I set before you life and death, choose life."
Then again, choosy mothers choose Jiff and I use Peter Pan.
Perhaps if I could purchase the right peanut butter, the rest would just fall into place.

Admittedly, sometimes I add my own crunch to life and things don't go quite so smoothly.

What's in your head? In your head... Zombie....

I've been reading about Lazurus the past few days and have thought a lot about life and death and resurrection power.
Talk about a Walker!

The guy was dead for like four days before he was brought back to life!

I can see Jim Carey standing outside the tomb yelling and signaling, "Whew! Do NOT go in there!"

At Chelsea's baby shower a few weeks ago, we smiled, laughed and celebrated the coming of a new life. My grand-daughter, Saydee Grace.

Just outside her festive party, a family clad in black stood in the hallway, quietly gathering for a funeral.
By the looks of those in attendance, it was probably a grandmother or grandfather.
Someone else's mother or father.

Hopefully, later, they would be able to celebrate that person's life and not rest in the sadness.
It was a somber moment and a strange contrast of emotions, separated only by two large wooden double doors.

When I read about Lazarus being brought back from the dead, I am most amazed by the actions of Jesus.
He kind of jacked around a bit before going to the rescue.

Mary and Martha sent word to him that he was very sick.
And even though Jesus loved Lazarus, it says in John 11:6 NLT, "so he stayed where he was for the next two days."

Huh?
God apparently moves when he wants to move.
No amount of begging or manipulation is going to get him to do what we need him to do when we want him to do it.

I've tried.
And it doesn't work. :)

He does what needs to be done in His own time.
Which is usually not the same time frame that we'd like him to go by.

Which is annoying.
Not just to us, but Martha and Mary were kind of annoyed too.

When he finally showed up in Bethany, their brother had been dead four days.
Not "for days"...but "four" actual days!!

And Martha was the first to lay into him, "Lord, if you had only been here, my brother would not have died."
I can hear the brown nosing, "But even now, I know that God will give you whatever you ask."

He said back, "Your brother will rise again."
And then she, being the suck up type I picture her to be, replies sweetly, "Yes. He will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day."

But Jesus, in his head, was probably thinking, "Woman. You don't have a clue what I'm talking about!"

He said instead, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyhone who believes in me will live even after dying. Everyone who lives and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this Martha?"

"Yes, I believe," she responded and went and got her sister.
Then she comes to complain as well. "Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died."

In my head, Jesus had to be saying to himself, "Pack your bags folks...we're going on a guilt trip!"

Some of the other people standing around were grumbling as well, "Geez. He healed a blind man. Couldn't he have kept Lazarus from dying."

You can almost picture them looking at each other with raised eyes and their quiet tsk tsk tsk's.

And at this point, Jesus himself got ticked and angry. He had to have been thinking, "How many miracles is it going to take for you people to believe that I am who I say I am?!?"

He walked over to the tomb, "Roll the stone aside..."
Then he thanked his heavenly father for always hearing him and shouted, "Lazarus, come out!!"

And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his faced wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, "Unwrap him and Let Him Go!"

It was a magnificent miracle and dramatic gesture for all to see for sure!
A real Zombie Apocolypse....
"BAM! and BEHOLD!! A Walker!"

Brought back from the dead.
By resurrection power.
To live.

Happy Fun Girl: Decision 2012...If He Hollers, Make Him Pay...

Happy Fun Girl: Decision 2012...If He Hollers, Make Him Pay...: I dug through a gazillion faded receipts, felt past a broken pair of readers, accidentally dug my fingernail into an uncapped lipstick a...

Decision 2012...If He Hollers, Make Him Pay...

I dug through a gazillion faded receipts, felt past a broken pair of readers, accidentally dug my fingernail into an uncapped lipstick and finally came up with $1.08 in change.

I was really hoping for some change.

Abruptly, the voice inside the speaker box yelled at me for the second time.
Geez! I heard ya the first time!
I was just unsure of my ability to come up with enough change.

Again...
"Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?"
"I'm sorry. Just a minute please."
Make a decision, make a decision, make a decision...
Spicy McChicken or the McDouble?
Spicy McChicken or the McDouble?

"I'm so sorry. I'm having a stress meltdown and have become unable to make a simple decision and I can't decide between the McChicken or the McDouble!!"

"Take your time," she replied.
Or was it a he?
The box was making that loud, fuzzy feedback noise and either way, I could tell whoever it was really meant..."Hurry up lady, there are people in line behind you."

So, in my head I played a quick game of Eenie Meenie Miny Mo....the tiger version of course.

That's it.

At 45. I have resorted to Eenie Meenie Miny Mo in my decision making.
Thankfully, I didn't actually resort to that for my election vote, not that it mattered much.

It is a proven fact that one of the symptoms of stress overload can be the "inability to make decisions."
It is also a symptom of depression.
Post partum and otherwise.

Most of my life, I have been a pretty quick decision maker.
Notice I said quick, I didn't say good. :D

Until lately.

I also find it funny that as much as I've been sort of a control freak most of my life, I find myself suddenly being hugely attracted to being controlled.
As a single mom who is every minute of every day constantly having to make this decision or that decision, honestly, it gets exhausting.

My brain does not have one of those red reset buttons to push when I've overloaded it.

No one else there to bounce ideas off of or get a more objective..i.e. realistic opinion.
Nope. Just me and that still, small, so super small I can't even hear it, sometimes voice.

So it's weird that as someone who is not a big fan of authority, I am so strangely drawn lately to just being bossed.
It's such a relief to interact with people who can make a dinner reservation, fix your truck, or...maybe, pick a baby name.

Chelsea, my daughter is about 6 weeks away from giving birth to Saydee Grace.
My very first and so super blessed grandchild to be.

It's gotten me thinking about the last time I was at the hospital giving birth to Natalie, my super fresh Freshman.

Her dad, God bless him ;) brought in an entire media stack, four channel mixer, microphones and stereo speakers to plug in and display on my bed side table while he recorded a radio show for the church.

He even wanted to unplug my fluid machine thingy because there were no more outlets.

Really. This stuff happened.
As creative as I like to think I am, I can't make up skits this ridiculous.

Considerately taking off his headphones he commented, "Just tap my shoulder if you need anything."
The inner anger got me through each and every labor pain as I silently thought to myself, "What kind of husband brings a portable radio station into the delivery room?? Are you kidding me?"

Surprisingly, several hours and a produced show later, we welcomed "Nathaniel," into the world.
With a vagina.
.
Maybe that's why Natalie is so fond of using that word all the time.
She just loves it.
To get on my nerves, she chants for fun, "Vagina. Vagina. Vagina."

Because there was no penis, boy oh boy did we have a dilemma then.
A decision would need to be made.
What would we name the unexpected beautiful baby girl?

Galen, not a fan of making a decision...any decision at all...proceeded to upset the entire maternity floor crew.
"Mr. Hoffman...We need a name."
"I don't know."

So there she sat in the nursery..Little Baby No Name.
Baby Hoffman.
Like some kind of orphan child.
"Mr. Hoffman...We need a name."
"Stop pressuring me!!!!"

After numerous pleas, to please give the child a name so the nurses could record it on her birth record, he began to get very agitated.
And loud.

I was still reeling from the 'live' radio show broadcast and the hours of labor and child birth giving.
"Please can't we just name her Natalie? It's like a form of Nathaniel. And I love Natalie Merchant!"

We left the hospital being chased by nurses and him yelling, "I'll give you a name when I have an F-ing name."
They called the house repeatedly for two days.

Finally, after much phone slamming, verbal outbursts and ranting, a decision was made.
Natalie Jane Hoffman.

Not all decisions are this complicated.
But each and every one we make has consequences.

November 6th... a decision was made.

And though we may not all agree with each other, we can still move forward as believers in the United States of America.

God is still in control.
He loves every single one of us.

United, we can make a decision to be peace makers.
United, we can make a decision to pray every day for Godly direction for our leaders and this great country.
United, we can make a decision to love our families and our neighbors as ourselves.

The Message says, "Our firm Decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could be included in his life, a resurrection life, a better life than people ever lived on their own."

I want a better life.
Not just for myself, but for my children and my grand children.
Make a decision for Christ.

Though you may have questions, "It is by Faith that we are Saved...not through works, but it is a gift from God...so that no man can boast."
It is a decision to live by faith and not by sight.

It is also the most important, life "change" decision that we can ever make.

And in my head I will be chanting myself, "My mother told me to choose the very best one and you are not "it". 

Oh. And I got the McDouble.