Iron Sharpens Iron? Enough Poking Already!

I woke up the other day.....horrified.
Not because I found out the Monopoly people have done away with the iron in favor of a cat.
A wonderful, wonderful cat, I'm sure.
Because, in addition to their nine lives, I hear they also have great vision.

I have great visions, but am still trying to lose my "I" site.
EOJ. Eyes on Jesus.

Seriously, my eye site has taken a turn for the worst in the last few years.
And I sleep on my side, which causes me to wake up with wrinkles deeply embedded in my chest.
Hence, the horrification.

There are enough things in my life I am trying to 'iron out'.
Chest flesh should not have to be one of them.
I can't even wear a v-neck for the first three hours in a day because the wrinkles are so obvious and they need time to flatten out.

My love for V-Neck sweaters goes all the way back to Mrs. Mitchell, my music teacher at Arey Elementary who taught me to play guitar.
She was a gorgeous blonde who wore hers, Chrissy from "Three's Company" style, and accessorized with light brown Go Go boots.

She let us sing, "Dust in the Wind," for a school music concert and gave me confidence through my first recital and strumming, "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," and "Killing Me Softly."
Ha! :)

Pull that off with braces, a face full of pimples and a bad perm.
Man, I loved that woman! She made me feel confident, just by walking beside her.

Sort of like Jesus does when I walk with him I guess, minus the Go Go boots.

Now that I think about it, she had some wrinkles too.
But she never let them effect her ability to shine like a rock star.
Even when I noticed the other teacher giving her dirty looks, I guess because she didn't look like the rest of them.

Constantly, I am finding new creases in my clothes....and character.
I hate that.
I mean I guess it's a good thing, because I'm growing, but because of my obvious creases, I feel like shrinking.

Seriously.....I need spandex for this kind of stretching.
Plus, spandex doesn't wrinkle.

Some mornings, I look in the mirror and only see a wrinkled mess.

Coldwater Creek has these Perfect No-Iron Shirts and people just love them.
Being a wash and wear kind of girl, or sometimes wear two or three times and then wash, I'm not a big fan of ironing.
So, I've asked the ladies, "Are they really No-Iron shirts?"

"Oh yes!" they usually reply.
"Huh. Good to know."
 I like the way they look, especially with their lacy camisole underneath.
There's another wrinkle I guess. I don't have one of the shirts, but a camisole I do.
I like to sleep sexy.
And I don't want to iron.

Also, I don't want to walk around with my wrinkles showing all day.
Plus there's that whole iron sharpens iron thing....and I'm tired of being poked.

Ironing is sort of becoming a lost art.
There are easier, drop stuff at the cleaners, options available.
Creative Homewares on the web offers the following advice for those who prefer pioneering with ironing:

Before you ever begin to iron, plug the iron in, adjust it to the correct setting, and allow it to preheat. You will know your iron is ready for use if it sizzles when you spray a bit of water on it.
First, let's define correct, because, not only am I sizzling, I'm beginning to steam.

Locate the tag on the garment you are preparing to iron. It will provide you with information about the material. Some clothes, you will find, should not be ironed.

Others have a very low tolerance for heat, so you'll have to iron them at a gentle setting.
Gentle setting?  There is a gentle setting?
I had no idea!

Use high heat for cotton and linen.
I do not cotton to any of this. Many mornings I wish I could pull my I don't know how many thread count linens over my head and call it a day already.

Cotton mixes and wool are ironed on a medium level. Use a low setting for silk, nylon, polyester, and other like fabrics. If you are using a steam iron, make sure there is the proper amount of water inside.
I am still thirsty.

When you actually begin to iron, take your time to ensure the garment has been stretched flat across the ironing board.
Feeling about as stretched as Stretch Armstrong thank you very much.

This will save you some time in terms of re-ironing wrinkles that you put in.
Big Gulp on that one.
GULP!

Also interesting that the heat is distributed through the soleplate.
Sounds like solemate, but totally different.
Here comes that steam setting again.

Lordy, Lordy, I feel my temperature rising!
Is that the whistle sound of steam I hear?

Not exactly a fog horn whistle blowing, but I get it.
When the heat is applied, it gets out the wrinkles.

I am Pressed, but not Crushed, persecuted not abandoned.