Independence Day...Oh, Say Can YOU see???

(photo courtesy of Provincetown Tourism Office)



I absolutely love the 4th of July!
Independence Day.

For a girl who used to take great pride in being very independent, I have come to accept on this day...
July 4th, 2012, I am very, very needy.
In a state of complete and total dependence.

My mother would be horrified.
She taught me to be strong and if I ever wanted something I had to, "Do it yourself."


I'm reminiscing today about Independence Days of my past.

When I was a girl, my mom would pack up the giant red cooler that none of us wanted to help carry.
She'd load it with tasty picnic goodies like bologna sandwiches, grapes, carrot sticks, candy bars and lemonade.


The family would head out in the station wagon to Harlan Rogers Baseball Park, spread our ginormous blanket in the outfield, and sit and snack while watching the amazing fireworks show.


Sometimes I would sit Indian style next to my mom and point with the obligatory, "Oooohhh!! Aaggghh!!"
Other times, I just wanted to be left alone on my side of the blanket.

Soaking up the silent splendor of watching those amazing colorful lights fall to the ground, I would lay on my back, and imagine great and wonderful things.


I would watch the fireworks, turn to the moon, and whisper to him that someday, I would reach for the stars.

Along with Lurch, Zit Face and Earthquake, I was also called a dreamer.

And I was.
Unfortunatley, I, just like Joseph, with his Technicolor Dream Coat and all, could not keep my mouth shut about what I thought my future might look like.
Note to others: Generally it's a good idea to keep euphoric fantasies to yourself.
My mom would say, "You're not that special Queenie."


It sounds a little harsh, but I get it.
She has always been much more of a realist than I am.

"Well, let me just tell you how the real world works. No one is ever going to give you anything. If you want something, you better work your butt off for it. You can not count on anyone but yourself. And if you want something done right, you better do it yourself. And don't ever trust anyone!"


Hence my, Little Miss Independence-ness.


Talk about dampening my sparkler.

Not ironic at all that I grew up to be the girl who in high school, had to write a paper reflecting on the concept of, "No man is an Island."


I was the only one in class who wrote an, "I am Woman. Absolutely YES! I Can..be an island," essay.
I was convinced that I would rock that Robinson Crusoe island lifestyle without so much as a furry monkey helper.
(I paused to reflect only briefly, how nice it might be to eventually find a loin cloth wearing hottie on the other side of the island at some point...) just sayin.'

Close to 30 years later, I have finally realized something so contrary to the lyrics that I have lived by and believed.


I am Woman.
But I'm not so strong.
And I'm not invincible.
And you can bend and probably break me.



I'm just learning to be much less dependent on myself, because my plans usually back fire,  and so lately, I'm a whole lot more dependent on God.


Who created me to shoot for the stars!
And you too!

"You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July...." Katy Perry, "Firework"

Ignite the light.
"You are the light of the world...like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14

Let it shine.
"In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly father." Matthew 5:16

Let 'em go....Oh, Oh, Oh!!

Happy Fourth of July!!!