Free Fallin into the Great Wide Open

Cliff diving always seemed to be an attractive adventure sport.

I just didn't think Jesus was going to call me to do it.

When I say things like, "But I'm really scared," he whispers back, "Fear not, for I am with you."

When I say, "It sounds really crazy. I need a word," he says, "I've given you several, but if you want just one....Obey."

The Big O. And not the fun one either.

Super scary stuff, going deep.

It's a lot like that feeling you get when you're a kid, standing at the edge of the high dive and you look down.

And then you look back at all the people on the ladder who wish you'd just hurry up and jump already!

So, you act brave and curl your toes over the edge and maybe even start to bounce the board a little like you're really gonna go for it.

But then, the second you start to feel the vibration under your feet, you stop bouncing and just start backing up. Or maybe even turn completely around.

I've felt the vibrations. And I don't care.

The thought of having to crawl down that ladder again is so much more worse than just swan diving into the deep end!

I pray to God I am not going to belly flop. I've done it before and it hurts like hell.

My girls and I have all played "The Trust" game at some point in our lives.

It's a youth group and recess favorite.

This is the game where your "buddy" stands behind you and promises to catch you when you fall backwards.

But then they don't.

And you hit the ground.....hard!

The next time someone asks you to join in the fun, you're not really ready to play that faith building game again.

Especially if you've fallen as far and hard as I have.

But the constant tugging in my spirit says to me daily, "This is all you. When you're ready to do it my way, let me know. I've been telling you to stop, you don't listen. So, if you wanna strive to survive a little longer, okay. Let me know when you're really ready to give up your life, your way."

But I don't understand. And I want to know the plan.

Have I really surrendered ALL?
ALL minus 'this' or 'that' = NOT ALL.

When I sing, "I Surrender All," he reminds me of what I haven't really surrendered....at all.
"What about ____________?"

I think if we're honest...we are almost always holding something back. Some thing that we are not quite ready to give up.

Something we don't trust him to handle correctly maybe?
Name your thing.

Maybe it popped into your head, just now.

That "thing" we want to keep to ourselves, tucked away in the, "Don't Touch This Yet...I've Got This Lord," drawer.

Just yet anyway.

And that's the enemy's best play. Later, Tomorrow, Not Yet.

I quit. I give up. Take my life.
 
The more I seek Him, the more I find Him. The more I find Him, the more I love Him.

And it's that love that he has for me, that makes it a little bit easier to just let go, free fallin' into the arms of my father.

Even when I've slammed into the concrete so many times before, left hurting.

We're not born with that distrust.

My granddaughter, Saydee Grace, loves to do "Row, Row, Row the Boat." At first, we just kind of swayed back and forth, back and forth. Then I started to gently slide her backwards down my legs.

She loves it!

Now, when we are finished with the, "life is but a dream," she joyfully and expectantly thrusts herself backwards, giggling all the way down!

Saydee trusts that I'm not going to let her fall.

And the confidence she has in me, makes me smile!

I imagine it does the same thing to God's heart when his children just trust.

"Obey me in this, and you will see the glory of the Lord."

Trusting that his plans are good, the beauty of obedience, suddenly surrendered to unity and the freedom of free falling.

She's a good girl, loves her mama, loves Jesus, and America too.
                                                                                                     --tom petty