What did you just call me?

 

I’ve been called a lot of names in my life.

Earthquake, Lurch, Bigfoot, Zit and Brace Face.

You name it, I’ve been called it.
Slut, whore, the B word. (I typed it out the first time.) It read a little harsh.

I needed a new name. Most of my life I’ve lived by a name not given to me by my father who loved me.

God gave new names to people all the time. Saul became Paul, Simon became Peter…Sarai became Sarah.

I bet Sarah smiled when that baby came.

Years ago, I read and related to, Much-Afraid, from the Fearing Family in the book, ”Hinds’ Feet on High Places.”
God promised to give her a new name.
She was crippled, she was lame.

A few weeks ago I stood in a courtroom and heard the judge say,
“You are now Tina Mollie Fisher.”

I choked out a squeaky, “Okay. Thank you,” and took my seat on the cold bench.

And I held back the tears as I sat, waiting for the official written declaration to be handed over to me.

Joy and sorrow saturated my heart simultaneously.

My new name.

The name I was given on the day I was born, innocent and untouched except by the hand of God that knitted me in my mother’s womb, with a plan and a purpose for my life.

Yes, yes…born with a sinful nature, but a baby girl brought into a world new and fresh, untouched and undamaged.

A name I was given before I was adopted, before the silly school yard name calling and before the divorces.

The name beautifully painted on my toy box.

Interestingly enough, the name I never got to use, my birth name, was Fisher.

I believe I have been called to be a fisher of men.

Sometimes I feel more like a bait fish.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the dreams God has placed in my heart and the sometimes uncertainty of my sanity, and I keep coming back to Simon.

Later named Peter, aka..the “Rock.”

I love that! Especially because I can totally see Peter walking along with Jesus proudly thinking to himself with a big smile on his face, “I rock. I so totally rock! Look at me, hanging with the miracle man himself! One of the first four he even chose! What can I say? I am soooo totally a rock star!”

Well, up until the whole rooster crowing thing. That had to hurt.
And his co-followers probably kicked sand in his face.

When Jesus first called Peter and the others to “follow” him, they didn’t just drop nets and go all out the first time he commanded. It took a while for him and the others to get out of the boat and stay out of the boat.

They took their time, watched his actions, heard his words, and saw the miracles.

It took time to build their faith.
It took time for them to trust that this man was really worthy of following.

How many demon-possessed, sight restored, lame walkers walking does it take to build that kind of faith?

A boat load!

Finally, one day when they were working, throwing a net into the water, Jesus called out to them again and said, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” They left their nets at once and followed him. (Matthew 4:19)

The Tyndale study notes say, “Jesus called them away from their productive trade to be productive spiritually.”
Jesus are you calling?

All I want is the Holy Spirit on my caller ID right now.
I tried to be a water walker once.
I sank.

I don’t want to be irresponsible. I just want to be obedient.
I’m still Much Afraid.
And I know I'm lame.

But I trust you.
And I’d really, really love to go fishing.

I’m ready Lord to lay down my net if that’s you on the other end of the line.
My faith is so fully stretched, but I can’t wait to see the catch!!!
God help me.
Let the gates of hell, not prevail.
I’ll catch em’, you clean em’!
I’m in deep now.
Catch and release me to do your will, whatever that may be.
In Jesus’ precious, name above all names.
Amen.