Oh Can't You See? You Belong to Me.

Okay, busted!

I have a girl crush on Sandra Bullock.

Lately I've watched a lot of her movies and am feeling a little like George Costanza during his Marisa Tomei obsession.

It is my long time love of Sandra that kept me in my seat to watch The Heat last weekend.

Well, my love for her, the price of admission and the super buttery, movie theatre popcorn.

My spirit said walk out, my flesh said, "Quit being such a fuddy duddy and eat the flippin' Twizzlers."

I made the wrong choice.

I made the wrong call. And I'm sorry.

I stayed in my seat to watch The Heat and I lol'd at a tiny balls joke.
Again, I'm sorry.

If I said testes would that make it any less offensive?
Nut sack? Probably not.

I was wrong and I've already been read my Miranda rights.
By Movie Monitoring Jesus.

I'll just move in another direction with this little life lesson.

Natalie, my almost 16 year old, just got her driving permit and I am absolutely not the best parent for the job of, "Let's Practice Not Dying on Interstate Highway 10 Today."

Only half-jokingly I told her, "I'm much better driving with you than I was with your two sisters. Of course, back then, I actually cared about surviving. Eight, ten years ago, I still had hope. Now I'm just kind of like well, if Jesus takes your wheel and it happens to take me to him, so be it."

Inappropriate and twisted humor goes over well in our family.

My greatest fear for Natalie driving is that she will not see the "Do Not Enter," and go the wrong way. Like I did.

Not just while out practicing her driving skills on the open road, but in life, in general.

I am more than aware of the dangers when going the wrong way.

The other night there were tons of police out and she said, "I hate it when they get behind me. It makes me so nervous."

"Well, it should only make you nervous if you're doing something wrong."

Very Andy Andrews like, if I do say so myself.

And then, in that very teachable moment, I chose to NOT share about the road trip when

I unexpectedly came upon a border patrol stop, squad car lights flashing in my rear view mirror.
Immediately, I was panic stricken when I saw the red and blue lights because I smuggled a pin joint in a coffee can in the trunk, and I was sure I was about to go to Mexican prison.

Once I saw lights flashing in my rear view mirror, I had my own flash of genius inspiration, reached into my purse and began slathering massive amounts of Bengay all over, every area of exposed skin.

When they opened my car to further inspect, the border dogs took one wiff, shook their large German Shepherd heads quickly back and forth, and retreated from the vehicle immediately.

Border patrol waved me through.
And I swore I would never smoke pot again.
I lied.

Thank you good Shepherd.
Your mercy and grace has not gone unnoticed.

The morning of Natalie's driving instruction, I happened to read Romans 13.
It talks about obeying authorities that are placed over us.

It says in chapter 3, "rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right."

I'm not getting into a legalistic/law thing here. It's just funny how life is always presenting opportunities for me to reflect on what I've learned.

"They are called to serve and protect," I remind her.

"Who?"

"The Police."

"Every breath you take, And every move you make.....I'll be watching you...
Every  single day, every word you say..every game you play, every night you stay...I'll be watching  you...'   --The Police

Kind of like God.

Psalm 121:7 says, "The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; he will watch over your coming and going."
Watch over me, watch over my family, and those I love.

Keep us from going the wrong way on the one way.